Wreaking Havoc
by McPerfect
Summary: sequel to the darling of seattle grace, there said i'd put that in there. ADDEX, yay! apparently it's possible to read this without reading TDOSG but you might want to. summary: holli's on summer break and essentially, well, wreaking havoc.
1. You Two Crazy Kids

**a/n: it's the long awaited sequel to The Darling of Seattle Grace!ok, maybe not long awaited, since i finished that story like yesterday, but you know what i mean... but if you haven't read it, then you probably should, since this is the sequel, and that just makes sense, plus it might be confusing if you don't know who holli is...but i'm rambling, so on with the show!... after the disclaimer of course!**

**disclaimer: yes i own grey's anatomy... in my mind...**

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"Holli? Holli, wake up," Addison whispered, as she poked the lump in the middle of the bed.

"Go away," the lump muttered.

"Honey, it's like eleven in the morning, you can't just sleep all day."

"I can when I'm on summer break and _especially_ when I was kept up all night because _someone_ was having hot and _loud_ sex, without warning me that I was going to need earplugs," Holli complained, sitting up and glaring at Addison, making her blush.

"I'm just not going to reply to that really rude comment," she replied, loftily.

"You know you love me. So anyways, how's Alex?"

"He's fine," Addison answered, trying not to give anything away.

"Oh, he's _way_ more than fine from what I heard last night," Holli laughed.

"Okay, out of my sex life, now," Addison ordered. Ever since Holli's school's summer vacation had begun they had had a conversation to this effect pretty much every morning.

"But it's so hard when the main location for it is the room next to mine!" Holli whined playfully, even though she was only sort of joking.

"Morning, Holli," Alex (he was still Hot Intern Guy in Holli's mind, though she called him Alex or Karev out loud) greeted her as he walked into the room. Addison turned around and turned her face up for a kiss, which he promptly gave.

"Morning Alex. Hey, Montgomery? Think you could maybe keep your mouth off of him long enough for me to make small talk with him?" she requested, seeing as the two were still kissing. "I swear, you two are becoming worse than McDreamy and Meredith."

"That is such a lie and you know it," Addison said, removing her lips from Alex's.

"Ha! I knew I could get you two to stop if I said that! Who called it?!" She started to do a little victory dance.

Addison just raised her right eyebrow, giving her approximately half of a McSatan glare. Holli noticed this, and before it could turn into a full blown glare, she asked, "So are we going to the hospital today?"

Since Holli was staying with Addison (Alex stayed most of the time too) and Holli had nothing better to do, plus she loved it there, so she usually tagged along to Seattle Grace to hang out. She would go around talking to anyone who would listen, including people in comas. She was a firm believer in the fact that they could hear her, so she would go on for what seemed like days, just saying whatever popped into her head. And everyone in the hospital loved her. Even the vitals of the people in comas would become stronger when she talked to them. She knew every one of the interns and nurses by name and a lot of the patients too. Holli, it seemed, could do no wrong.

The bad part about having her there, for Addison at least, was that she knew so much about Addison's home life and was extremely willing to give details. She loved being a source of information and Addison knew she was dying to let someone know about 'Satan and Evil Spawn'. Alex and her wanted to keep this relationship secret, so that the rumor mill of Seattle Grace wouldn't taint it. She like it fine the way it was, and she did not need Holli blurting it out to anyone who wasn't in a coma and could tell others. So Addison made her promise every single day that she wouldn't tell anyone, before she confirmed or denied whether or not they were going.

Addison raised her eyebrow again, and Holli recited from memory, raising her right hand, "I promise that I will not, under any circumstances, tell anyone about your relationship with Alex without permission," she had come up with this statement during the first week of summer break. It was just easier than coming up with something original to say.

"Yeah, we are."

"Tight. Alright, you two crazy kids go make out on the couch or something," she said, predicting pretty much exactly what they were bound to end up doing, "And I'll get ready and be down shortly. Can I get a time frame, so that I don't walk in on anything too scarring?"

Alex looked at Addison, "An hour sound good to you?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Oh good God, I'm not even going to think about what your going to be doing during all that time, but could we please keep the loud moaning to a minimum this time?" Holli groaned, half-teasing.

Alex smirked, "That was _all_ Addison. Talk to her not me."

"Um, excuse me, but who was the one _causing_ the moaning?" Addison pointed out.

"Ew. Okay, seriously, I think my ears are falling off (**a/n: special thanks to whoever is the author of ****Stuck****, I don't remember who that is though, for giving me the inspiration for this line**). You people go take your disgusting talk to a different room please; it's too early in the day for me to be scarred for life already."

Addison and Alex eagerly complied, making Holli pretend to gag as they were walking out, well almost running, out of her room. She loved the two of them together, after all she was the one who had gotten them together, but seriously? No one needed to hear their best friend having sex in the next room over.

It seemed though, judging from the soudnds of the squeaking bed springs already coming from Addison's room, that no one really cared that she minded, so she sighed and got dressed, before running downstairs to the kitchen, as much to escape the noises as to grab a bite to eat.

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**and there's the end of the chapter (no duh)... the button will love you forever if you click him and review!!**


	2. You Have To Ramble

**a/n: chapter two! yay! so the button only loves a couple of people forever, so thanks to those of you who the button loves!**

**disclaimer: i. do. not. own. grey's. anatomy. no need to rub it in.**

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An hour and thirty minutes later, Holli had waited an extra half an hour; just to be on the safe side, she knocked on Addison's bedroom door. She heard some knocking around, as Addison and Alex struggled to get out of bed and dressed. She rolled her eyes and yelled, "Hurry up in there! I'll give you another five minutes and then I'm coming in and separating you two, no matter how traumatizing it may be," then she muttered to herself, "How hard is it to get out of bed without getting back in?"

Just then Alex walked out, buttoning his jeans. "You'd be surprised," he replied.

"Ok, ew."

"Alex, stop scarring Holli. By the end of the summer she's going to be totally messed up the way you're acting," Addison ordered as she walked out of her room wearing a Betsey Johnson dress and Prada heels.

"It's not like I'm the only one, Addison," he teased. "Dude, seriously, though? You look hot," he gave an approving nod as his eyes scanned her body.

Holli pretended to gag. When she was done with that she pointed out very calmly, "I'm going to be one very messed up adult by the end of this _day_, the way you two are heading."

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"I still don't see why you won't tell anyone," Holli commented as she and Addison drove to the hospital. Alex always took his own car because it looked suspicious if he and Addison showed up to work in the same car. This had all been well thought out and planned; she and Alex were very big on the secrecy thing.

"Because."

"Because is not a reason, it's the start of one, generally followed by the reason."

"Smartass."

"I know, I work very hard at it," Holli replied with a smirk, pulling her sunglasses over her eyes, "Now, stop trying to distract me and give me a reason."

Silence.

"Yeah, that's what I thought; you don't have a good reason, do you? Have you even told Callie yet?"

More silence.

"You haven't told _Callie_? I thought you two were all buddy-buddy, tell each other everything people! You've been with this guy for, what, almost a year now, and you still haven't told your best friend? Wow. Someone's tight-lipped."

"I am not tight-lipped. I just don't want people to know, that's all."

"You haven't told your best friend, well aside from me, of course, I call that tight-lipped."

"It is not."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"_Yes_, it is."

"_No_, it's not."

"Yuh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh," Addison started to reply, but then realized what she was going to get herself into (Holli could keep these things going _forever_) "I'm not going to get into this with you."

"You're only quitting because you know you'd lose," Holli said, sneakily challenging Addison's competitive side.

"Oh, no, I am not going there."

"You're no fun," Holli pouted as they drove into the parking lot and pulled into a parking spot.

"I'm sorry," she apologized sarcastically as she got out of the car and walked away.

"Hey! You never answered my question!" Holli yelled after her but Addison pretended not to hear her.

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"So, anyways, she's like totally in love with this guy and he's in love with her and they're together, but they don't want to tell anyone. I'm the only one who knows. Well, me and Ava, and now you, but I can trust you not to tell anyone, can't I?" Holli rambled.

No answer.

"Yeah, that's what I thought, seeing as you're kind of in a coma and all. I have no idea if you can hear me or whatever, but I had to tell _someone _cuz they're bugging me, and I can't keep my mouth shut if something bugs me. Just the way I am, I guess," she shrugged.

No answer.

"Sorry, I must be completely boring you, talking about people that you don't know or care about. You really need to snap out of it, because then you can talk to your family and they can talk to you about stuff that you care about. Oh God, I'm rambling again. Then again, you kind of have to ramble if your having a conversation with someone who can't talk back. Is it really a conversation then? I wouldn't think so; I don't think that's the definition of conversation, but whatever. It seems like more of a monologue, don't you think?"

No answer.

"Well, I guess right now it's impossible for you to have an opinion. Unless you can hear me, and then I suppose you could, but it's not like you could voice your opinion, so I don't know why I keep asking you questions. But I suppose, if you can really hear me, I'm keeping you up to date on everything. Not that you really care about what goes on here, but you probably should, since if, no, _when_ you wake up they're going to have you stay here for awhile, and I can tell you from experience that the gossip is by far the most entertaining thing when you're stuck in a room all by your lonesome. So if you can hear me, you should remember that. Or you know, you could have your family bring you something to do, that would work too."

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Addison stood outside of the room Holli was in; watching in amazement as Holli apparently had an entire conversation with a guy in a coma. How she could do that completely eluded her. How do you have a conversation with someone who can't talk back? She had never really thought of that before. She wondered what Holli could possibly be blabbering about.

She was so lost in thought that she jumped when someone slid an arm around her waist. She looked over, startled, and saw that it was Alex so she relaxed. Then she realized that no one here knew about the two of them, so she quickly moved from his grasp and hissed, "What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry; you just looked so cute, all dreamy, that I couldn't contain myself. I mean, generally boyfriends do get to put their arms around their girlfriend," he pointed out.

"Not when they're pretending they aren't boyfriend and girlfriend. And especially not when they're where they definitely don't want it to get around that they're together."

"So, about that. I was thinking about what Holli's been saying, and I really think that she has a point."

"And I don't."

"Why not?"

"I don't know, I just have a bad feeling that if we tell someone then things will go downhill or something bad will happen. I'll let you know if that changes though."

"It's just really hard to keep this from my friends, well I wouldn't call all of them my friends, but you know what I mean, and it just doesn't seem like the secrecy's worth it."

"I get that it's hard, I really do, but I just don't think that it's a good idea. But I can think of some ways to make it worth your wile," she raised her eyebrow seductively.

"Now that's just not fair. That's bribery."

"So?"

"So…" Alex thought about this. Was it really worth it to out them to his friends and risk ruining his relationship with Addison? And he knew exactly what she would bribe him with and it sure wasn't money. Did he really want to refuse? Uh, no, no self-respecting guy would, so he answered, "I'll take it."

"I knew you would," she whispered her lips brushing his ear before she walked away.

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conversation: oral communication between persons... just thought y'all would like to know... what? i find it interesting...

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**so the button tells me that he'll give y'all a second chance at his never ending love, but you have to review to earn it! he doesn't just give away love freely!**


	3. Happy Now?

**a/n: sorry this took a little longer than usual... but i didn't get all that many reviews so i wasn't all that encouraging :( i'm kidding... sort of... whatever... in any case here's chapter three! hope you like it!!**

**disclaimer: no... just... no...**

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"I still think you should let everyone know," Holli said as she and Addison ate what passed for lunch. She took a bite out of her sandwich and grimaced. That was _not_ turkey, no matter what the label said. 

"Nice lunch, huh?" Addison replied to Holli's look, picking at the pathetic excuse for a salad that she had picked up.

"Why do you do that?" Holli asked, putting down her sandwich.

"Do what?"

"You totally change the subject any time I mention telling people about you and Hot Intern Guy."

"His name is Alex, and I do not!"

"You just did," Holli pointed out.

"One time. Just one time."

"No, you did it this morning too. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the day before-"

"Alright, I get the picture."

"So why do you do it?"

"I- I really don't know. Okay, new topic!" she announced suddenly

"No! We have to talk about this! I was just making progress!"

"_Not. Now._" Addison said through gritted teeth,

"Why-"

"Hey Holli. Hey Manhattan," Callie greeted the duo as she pulled up a chair.

"Oh," Holli stated.

"Oh what?" Callie asked.

"Oh, just that you're the reason that Addison won't talk about why she's sleeping- ow!" Holli was cut off by Addison slapping her arm. _Hard._ "That hurt! Haven't I been abused enough for one lifetime?"

"Why Addison's sleeping where?" Callie asked, thoroughly confused.

"Not where, with _whom_," Holli answered, so Addison slapped her again. "Okay, you have _got_ to stop slapping me; I'd prefer not to have a bruise."

"_Who_ is Addison sleeping with?"

"The hel-" was all Holli got out before glancing at Addison and seeing her McSatan glare. But it was enough.

"The _help?!_" Callie screeched. People glanced over, looking at her like she was insane. "Addison's sleeping with Karev?" she asked quietly after everyone went back to eating.

"That she is."

"What? When?"

"Um…. Addison should probably tell you, I, uh, I have to, uh, go find Christina! Because I, uh, have a very urgent question and it just cannot wait!" Holli badly improvised to get away from the inevitable blow up. And then she ran.

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"Ten months?! You've been sleeping with Karev for_ ten months_ and I haven't heard about it? What is wrong with you, Addison?"

"We didn't tell anyone, not just you!"

"Holli obviously is excepted from that," Callie remarked coldly

"She lives with me. I can't keep a secret like that from her!"

"But you can from me. Thanks, Addison. I can see just how much I mean to you now."

"It's not like that, Callie! I just- I just- I don't know okay? I'm sorry, I'm a terrible person, but we already knew that. I didn't want anyone to know."

"Why?"

"Because… because… because…" Addison stuttered.

"Nice answer, Addison, real nice," Callie said icily and got up.

"Callie, wait!" Addison exclaimed, running, well more like teetering in her three inch heels, but whatever, after her. "I'm sorry, okay? I just didn't want anyone to know because I'm afraid that if it gets around then it'll be ruined and then what am I supposed to do? I can't work at a hospital with three of my exes, that's just too much to ask. Happy now?"

"Perfectly," Callie answered smugly, "I just got you to run in three inch heels."

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"What part of 'not telling anyone' do you not understand?!"

"Uh, the 'anyone' part," Holli sarcastically answered a very aggravated Addison.

"That was a rhetorical question."

"I know. But seriously, I didn't think Callie was included in the 'anyone' part. She's one of your best friends and you kept this from her for _ten months_. This isn't some little slumber party secret, like oh, Jimmy has a crush on Suzy sort of thing! It's humongous! You're in a real relationship that seems to be going somewhere!"

"Don't say that. Whenever someone says that, everything goes wrong."

"Addison, now you're just being stupid."

"No I'm not."

"Yeah, you are. Addi, you and Alex have a great relationship; nothing's going to ruin it. Unless, of course, you get drunk and cheat on him with McSteamy. That might do it."

"Ow," Addison winced at the verbal assault, "That was a little harsh, don't you think?" Holli just raised an eyebrow for an answer, "I said harsh, not true."

"Alright, maybe it was a little harsh. But you can't admit that it's not true."

"I give in. But can we change the subject now? It's getting a little too painful for me."

"I was only joking, Adds. I know you would never cheat on Alex. You like him too much. But I gotta go; Derek's letting me watch one of his surgeries."

----------------------------

"Hey Holli, can I ask you something?" Alex asked as he fell into step with her.

"Sure. What?"

"Can we talk in private?"

"Um, where do you propose, Karev? Where do you think we'll find any privacy in this hospital?" Holli asked, turning to face him

"Good point. But I really can't ask you here."

"Can't ask me _what_ here?"

"Well, I can't tell you that until we're in private, now can I?" Alex answered with a smirk on his face.

"Fine, but take that smirk off before I slap it off for you. We can go to Mr. Richards' room."

"Mr. who?"

"He's a guy I know. He's here and he's in a coma."

"Oh."

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"So, what did you want to ask me?" Holli asked as soon as she closed the door.

"Um, well, I-" Alex stuttered, very un-Alex like.

"Spit it out, Karev."

"I need your help."

"With what?" Holli prompted, starting to get annoyed.

"I need your help to, um, well…"

"KAREV!" Holli yelled, sounding exactly like Addison when she was annoyed (spending a lot of time around someone will do that to you).

"I need your help because I want to ask Addison to marry me. Happy now?"

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**if you don't review, karev's never going to ask because i'm going to hold the next chapter hostage until i get some reviews... yes, i am resorting to blackmail... no, i am not ashamed of myself**


	4. Karev's a Teddy Bear In This One!

**a/n: new chapter, yay! ugh my head hurts.. oh well... here's the disclaimer and then you're free to read!**

**disclaimer: if i owned grey's then my addex dreams would not have been shattered thursday.**

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"I'm sorry, want to repeat that one more time?" Holli requested, blinking in shock.

"I want to ask Addison to marry me," Alex repeated himself, speaking very slowly and enunciating every letter. Holli just stared at him, gaping. "What?"

"Oh. My. God."

"Are you okay?" Alex looked a little concerned.

"Are you serious?!"

"No, I just wanted to see your face," Alex replied sarcastically, "Of course I'm serious!"

"Shut up. Okay, what do you want me to do?"

"Two things."

"Okay. What?"

"First off, I want you to figure out if she wants it."

"Of course she does!"

"You don't know that, and I don't want to make her feel weird."

"Aw, that's so sweet. But you just don't want to get shot down."

"Well, that too."

"What's the second thing?"

"I want to have a ring for her and I need your help to pick it out. I want her to love it and you know her best."

"Why not Callie?"

"Because you know Addison better. And Callie doesn't know."

Holli looked sheepish.

"Callie knows?!" Alex asked, excited, because that would mean he could tell someone.

"I kinda told her. But now Addison's kind of pissed at me. Don't worry, though. It won't affect anything. I don't think she'd want you to tell anyone though," she added, correctly reading the look on his face.

"Oh."

"I don't know that. You'd have to talk to her."

"I will."

"So… ring shopping? When is this happening?"

"Do you have time today? Of course you have time today, you're on summer break. Now work?"

"Yep. But what do I tell Addison? Cuz I'm assuming that you want to keep this a secret."

"Just make something up; like I'm working late you're going to hang around or something. It doesn't really matter, just that she believes you."

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"So, I was going to go get a drink with Callie. Can you get a ride from Alex?" Addison announced when Holli found her to make her own excuse.

"Oh. Yeah, sure. No prob. We'll probably grab a bite to eat or something, so don't freak if you're home before us."

"Okay. See you later," Addison waved and walked off.

"Well, that was easy," Holli muttered to herself.

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"It's perfect," Holli announced about an hour later. She and Alex were standing in a boutique that specialized in jewelry. She was talking about the ring that she and Alex (but mostly her) had picked out. It was simple and elegant, a platinum band with a circular diamond, which was surrounded by small sapphires. All in all, it was gorgeous, and Holli knew Addison would love it.

"Thanks for the help, Holls."

"Ugh, don't call me that, I hate it."

"Sorry, Holli," he apologized, stressing her name.

"No big. So… when are you going to propose?" she asked bluntly, never subtle.

"I don't know. But I know I want to and that's all that matters right?"

"Aww! That's so cute! Who knew that Karev was such a teddy bear?" Holli teased.

"Don't get used to it."

"Oh, don't worry, I'm far from it."

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"Why didn't you tell me?" Callie asked Addison. They were sitting in Joe's and were just the slightest bit tipsy.

"Tell you what?"

"About you and Karev! You kept it a secret for ten months! How could you do that? I know I couldn't!" Callie was very energetic. She wasn't mad, just curious.

"I want it to work out, and if the hospital knows then it just doesn't work as well. I mean look at poor Derek and Meredith. Everyone knows about them and they always seem miserable."

"That is so depressing. You aren't drunk enough," Callie decided and motioned for more alcohol.

"I am plenty drunk thank you very much."

"No, you're too depressing, which therefore means you need to be drunker."

"Oh, thanks," Addison deadpanned as the drinks arrived.

"Hey, don't look now, but there's a guy over by the door checking you out."

"So?"

"Oh, right, sorry. You're taken now."

"Yep," Addison answered. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a couple of minutes. "Is he at least good looking?" she finally asked to break the silence.

"_Oh_ yeah," Callie answered. So Addison turned around. And standing by the door, staring at her was none other than Mark Sloane.

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**insert dramatic music here!**

**ps i'm sorry if i made it seem like alex was gonna propose in this chapter... don't hurt me**


	5. Just Fanfrickintastic

**a/n: so i realized two things...**

**1) i update at the weirdest times, they're always like in the middle of the day or night. like right now it's 12:40 in the morning. brilliant huh?**

**2) i write a lot of chapters where i have to beg for you not to hate me. this is one of them**

**disclaimer: i am not shonda i do not want to be shonda because if i was then i would have to fear for my life, because i've made so many people mad with my television show.**

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Alex and Holli were driving back to Addison's place sitting in silence. Holli was staring out the window and Alex couldn't stop fidgeting. "Would you stop that?!" Holli nearly yelled when Alex started to tap his fingers on the steering wheel.

"I'm sorry, I'm just nervous."

"Look, why don't you drop me off and then go and head to Joe's. That's where Addison is. Okay?"

"Okay," he answered. They continued to drive in silence until they arrived at Addison's house. "Do you have a key?"

"Yeah. Thanks for the ride."

"Are you sure you don't want me to come in for a minute?"

"Karev. Stop stalling. Go propose to her. It'll all turn out fantastic, I promise."

"Alright. See you later."

"Just go!"

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"Oh God. Is he still looking?" Addison groaned, completely miserable.

"Not only is he still looking he's walking over here," Callie answered.

"Damn it," Addison muttered to herself before laying her head down on her arms.

"Hello ladies," Mark greeted the two with his signature McSteamy smile.

"Go away, Mark," she ordered, lifting her head from the bar.

"Now is that any way to greet the man you gave up your husband for?"

"Way to hit me where it hurts, Mark. No. Just no. Whatever it is you want, no."

Callie was getting extremely uncomfortable and was quickly losing the nice buzz she had so she got up and announced, "I'm going to go over there and get drunk by myself. Goodnight."

"Great. Just fan-frickin-tastic," Addison muttered.

"Aw, come on Addi, you know you want me," he said, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"No, Mark. I don't," she tried to push his hand off her shoulder but it wouldn't budge.

"Addi-"

"Would you stop calling me that?" she hissed.

"We've slept together; I think I get to call you by your nickname."

"Just leave me alone," she whispered, looking to his eyes, which were a little hurt, but she knew he'd get over it.

"Addison?" She looked over her shoulder and realized that Alex was standing right there. And then she realized just how she must have looked at the moment. They were looking into each other's eyes and Sloane's hand was on her shoulder and her hand was on his. Sure, her hand was straining to get him to stop touching her, and sure, the eye contact was the only way to get her point across, but none of that would matter.

"Alex, I- It's not what it looks like," Great, now she looked even guiltier.

Alex laughed bitterly, "Then what is it? Because you two sure look cozy. I'll just leave you two to get a room or whatever it is you do when you cheat on someone," he said icily and turned on his heel and walked away.

"Wait, please, Alex!" she called after him, tears glistening in her eyes. She tried to go after him, but Mark's hand was still on her shoulder, holding her back, "Damn it, Mark! Let me go!" she screamed. She knew she was making a scene, but she didn't care.

"Addi, calm down," he said soothingly. So she did. Her voice dropped deathly low and she whispered,

"Let me go now."

"What is with you and him?"

"We're dating," she answered. "And it may be more."

"He needs time."

"No Mark, he doesn't. He needs me. And I need him. And I sure as hell don't need you. And I swear to God if you don't let me go after the love of my life I will never speak, look, or even be in the same room as you ever again."

"You- you love him?" Mark was clearly hurt.

"More than anything in the world," was her answer. "And if I lose another love because of you…"

"Just go," he took her hand from her shoulder.

"Thank you," she said and then ran as fast as she could after Alex.

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"Alex! Wait! Please, just stop! Let me explain!" she yelled as she chased him down the street. It was a beautiful night and the stars were out. It was not a night that anyone should break up and she wasn't going to allow it.

He whirled (yes, whirled) around, not really because he wanted to hear any pathetic excuse she could muster, but because he loved her, and that was reason enough. He looked at her and realized that she was probably the most vulnerable and most beautiful he had ever seen her. Her mascara was running and her eyes were completely swollen, so he gave her a chance, "Alright, you want to explain, explain."

She took a deep breath, "Callie and I went to get drinks. We got a little drunk, and he came over and-" but she was cut off.

"I knew this would happen! I knew it!"

"Knew what would happen? What are you talking about Alex?"

"You did this to Shepard too! You get drunk and you do stupid things. You cheat! You lie! You become a completely different person! And yet you don't stop! I knew that you would get drunk and cheat. I set myself up for this. Why did I? Why did I let myself fall in love with you Addison? I never should have let myself! I should have just stayed uninterested and away from you. But no, I was stupid, and thought 'oh, I'll be different, she really loves me, and she wouldn't do that to me'! I guess I was wrong."

"Alex, it wasn't like that at all!" she sobbed, tears ruining any dignity she had left, but that didn't matter to her anymore, all that mattered was that he wasn't mad at her.

"Give me one reason to believe you. I'm not a moron, Addison; I've seen the way he looks at you. I just hoped I would be enough to stop you."

And then Addison got mad. No, not mad, furious. He was jumping to conclusions and assuming that she was capable of cheating anymore. Hadn't they had this conversation before? She wasn't! Was he just not paying attention or something? Why was he so fucking insecure? "There is nothing to stop me from Alex Karev! Because there is nothing there! Don't you get it? I have never once even thought about cheating on you! And you want to know why? Because I loved you! But seeing this side of you? I don't love you so much anymore. So you know what? Do me a favor and have a nice life without me, okay?" And then she walked away, leaving Alex alone, fingering the jewelry box that was in his pocket.

-------------------------

Tears blurred her vision the entire way home, but she managed to make it home safely. She struggled to get her key in the lock, but it wasn't working because she was sobbing so hard. So she just sank against the side of the house and cried.

Holli was inside, watching TV waiting to see what had happened. She had assumed that Addison would be ecstatic and want to talk, which is why she was so surprised when she heard sobbing outside the door. She walked over and called out warily, "Hello?"

"Holli? It- it's Addison," was the reply. That freaked Holli out, because there were about a million really bad reasons Addison would be outside crying. She unlocked the door as fast as she could and took in the scene. Sitting outside, illuminated by the porch light was the most disheveled Addison she had ever seen. She was curled up into a ball, her knees pulled against her chest, rocking back and forth. Her cheeks had multiple tracks of black running down them, and her eyes were so swollen that she could barely open them. Her hair was all over the place and she was crying so hard she was shaking like she was having a seizure.

"What? Addison, what is it?" Holli asked, getting down on her knees to be on Addison's level. Approximately one million scenes were running at warp speed through her head, although not one of them came close to the truth. In her mind, Addison and Alex together was the one thing that couldn't be messed with. They were perfect and golden and happy. "Addison, please talk to me, you're scaring me," she said when all she got was whimpering noises and sobs.

"Alex…" she couldn't get it out.

"Is he hurt? _What_ is going on, Addison?" Holli was starting to freak out, really freak out. Addison was sobbing and Alex was nowhere to be found.

"Alex and I… we…" Holli thought for a second that maybe Addison was just happy. But then she looked at Addison's eyes and those were not tears of joy running down her face.

"Addi, you need to pull it together, now. You're really scaring me," Holli ordered, knowing that sometimes Addison needed a stern command to get started.

"We broke up," she managed to get out before breaking down again.

"No! But… that's just not possible!"

"Well, it obviously is," Addison snapped.

"Oh, Addi. I am so sorry!" Holli exclaimed before pulling her godmother into a hug. This was a little strange; Holli wasn't used to being the one giving the hugs. She had always been the damsel in distress, the victim. She wasn't used to being the one to comfort someone. This was probably the scariest thing Holli had ever faced. She could feel every shake and shiver that rocked Addison's body. She had never seen anyone besides herself look like this and she had no idea what to do, so she just did the same thing Addison had done for her, months ago, back when she was in the hospital. She hugged her fiercely, rocked back and forth, and whispered soothingly "It's okay, it's gonna be okay."

"No, it's _NOT!_" Addison wailed. "I just… I… I love him Holli. More than I have ever loved anyone else. He makes me feel like me. And now he's not there, and I don't even remember who I was before him! What am I going to do? I can't do this! I don't remember how to be without him!"

"Addison. You are going to make yourself sick if you keep this up. What you need is sleep and then tomorrow, you're not going to work. You are going to stay home and rest," Holli directed firmly. She had been in breakups like this, well maybe not this intense, and she knew exactly what was needed. When Addison started to protest to staying home she pointed out, "There are other doctors who are perfectly capable of taking care of your patients tomorrow. In this state, you're just going to do more harm than good, so I don't care, I will lock you in your room if that's what it takes to get you to stay home."

"Okay," Addison gave in. So Holli helped her up to her room and into her pajamas, because she was still shaking so badly.

"Goodnight, sweetie," she whispered, turning out the lights.

"Holli?" Addison could barely muster a whisper because her throat was so raw from sobbing.

"Yeah?"

"Could you- do you think that you could stay in here tonight? I- I don't want to be alone," Holli had never heard Addison sound so sad or like such a five year old and it was the most pitiful, heartbreaking thing she had ever heard.

"Sure, but if you kick me in your sleep, I'm leaving," Holli carefully joked, trying to lighten the situation a little bit.

"Fair trade off," Addison answered as she scooted over to the left side of the bed. Holli got under the covers and got comfortable.

"It will be okay, Adds, I promise," she whispered.

"Okay," whispered Addison, before her deep, steady breaths signaled Holli that she was sleep.

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**soo, here's how it's gonna work. i seem to get more reviews when i blackmail you (hmm wonder why) so the more reviews i get the faster i write... i get no reviews, i don't post. yes i know i am a mean person. i have accepted it and moved on with my life. you should to. a great way to start is by clicking that little button in the corner!**


	6. Izzie Stevens On Crack Chipper

**a/n: another chapter! but i gotta beg you not to hate me again. thanks for the reviews guys!**

**Tomate: i love cliffhangers... when i'm the one writing them. when i'm reading them, i hate them as much as the next person.**

**Everyone else: i'm sorry that alex made you so mad, but doesn't it kind of seem like something he would do? whether or not it does, the throwing things at me has got to stop! -dodges flying chair-**

**oh and may i just apologize in advance if addison scares anyone in this chapter.**

**disclaimer: don't sue.**

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Holli woke up the next morning, disturbed by the sun that was shining through Addison's window, hitting her directly in the face. She checked the clock, 8:00 in the morning. _Far too early to be up_ she thought to herself (is there really any other way to think?… I suppose out loud, but that's still to yourself…). She rolled over to go back to sleep and realized that Addison was gone. So she got up, a little frightened, because with the way Addison had been acting last night, as horrible as it was, she wouldn't have really been surprised if she had to call an ambulance to come get Addison, either because she had made herself sick or because she had done something that was too terrifying for Holli too think of. Neither reason would have really surprised her. So she ran downstairs and gasped when she saw Addison… 

Making breakfast. "Morning!" Addison chirped when she saw Holli standing in the doorway, shocked.

This was actually stranger and more frightening than anything else. She was so _chipper_. Freakishly, Izzie Stevens on crack, chipper.

"Uh, morning," she replied warily.

"So what do you want for breakfast? I've got chocolate pancakes, blueberry pancakes, sausages, bacon, hash browns, waffles, chocolate chip waffles… and, yeah I think that's it."

"Just how long have you been up?"

"Oh, and fruit salad and bagels. I think I've been up since around four. Somewhere around there."

"You got home at two. You only got two hours of sleep?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Hmm… that's strange, I don't feel tired at all, and I haven't even had coffee this morning."

"You're so chipper," Holli commented.

"Really? I didn't notice."

"Do you even remember what happened last night?" Holli asked, concerned that Addison had hit her head or something.

"Yeah, Alex and I broke up. No big deal. I'm over it."

"You were pretty scary last night."

"Well, that's not very nice!" Addison exclaimed with a scary-happy grin on her face.

"Addi, you're scaring me more right now than you were last night. It's me. You can talk to me. Please. You don't have to put up that front with me."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Addison Forbes Montgomery, don't even think about pulling that on me. You wouldn't me give it to you way back when my mom was still my mom, and I am certainly not letting you pull it now. You need to talk about this. You will drive yourself mad if you keep this bottled up inside."

"Do you think that maybe you could just leave me alone, Holli?" Alleluia, scary-chipper Addison finally disappeared.

"Addison, you just broke up with a guy who you yourself said that you loved more than anyone or anything, you need to talk! You need someone here for you. And I intend to be that person! So, no, I'm not going to leave you alone."

"Holli, I'm fine. You just need to leave me alone."

"Addi-"

"No. Stick your nose in someone else's business because it's not wanted here," Addison snapped.

"Fine… Fine. I'll leave. Bye, Addison. Good luck," Holli said very calmly, even though she was a mess of fury, grief, and sadness inside. And then she turned around, grabbed her jacket and her iPod (she never went anywhere without it) and walked out the door.

"What? Holli where are you going?" Addison called after her.

--------------------

Addison had waited not so patiently by the phone, hoping that Holli (or Alex, although she wouldn't admit it to herself) would call. It was getting dark out and she was starting to worry. She knew Holli and Holli was too stubborn and proud to come back. Not when she had been so angry in the first place.

She was so relieved when the phone rang she nearly started to cry, "Hello?" she asked.

"Hey Manhattan," Callie greeted, "Just calling to check in. Have you heard from Holli?"

"No," Addison sighed, frustrated. "Callie, I'm really starting to get worried. This isn't like her at all."

"It's going to be okay," Callie consoled her.

"She said the exact same thing last night," Addison choked back a sob, "Why am I such a screw up? In the span of eight hours I managed to lose the two people I care most about," and then she couldn't hold back the sobs.

"Addison, you are not a screw up. And you'll get them back."

"No I won't!"

"Addison, listen to yourself, you sound like a sniveling brat," Callie snapped, a firm believer in the 'tough love' school of thought.

"I'm sorry! I can't help it!"

"Yes, you can. Addison, you can do this."

"Callie, I've got to go, someone's on the other line," Addison lied, not in the mood to be consoled anymore. Well that, and she was afraid that she would alienate Callie too. So she hung up.

---------------------------

Three weeks later and Addison still hadn't heard from Holli or Alex and it was starting to show. She ran around the hospital on autopilot, more like a ghost than a doctor. She began to look like a ghost too. She was eating only the minimum amount of food required to survive and she had become unhealthily skinny because of it. She was pale and you had to call her name at least three times before she would react, even if you were yelling in her ear. She never smiled and was a robot in the O.R. She never lost anyone, thankfully, but she never talked except to give orders. In fact, she rarely talked at all, and even then it was the shortest answer possible. But the scariest part was that she went to work looking like a mess, in jeans and a t-shirt. She didn't wear makeup except to cover the black circles under eyes from countless sleepless nights. Well, she could count them since they had started the night she and Alex had broken up, and she could name the time that had passed since then to practically the minute. And she only wore that makeup because she didn't want to scare everyone (more than she was anyways). She didn't really see anyone who talked to her, she just looked right through them. There were only two people who could snap her out of this, and she had managed to scare them both off. Never mind that the break up wasn't her fault; that was entirely Sloane and Alex's fault, Sloane for starting the fight and Alex for being so insecure. In her mind it was all her fault, she should have moved when Mark touched her or done or said something, anything, to make Alex believe her.

Alex saw the change in Addison and it scared him. He had seen Addison sad, and this was not it, this was far worse. And he knew he was the cause of it. All he wanted to do was to hold her in his arms again, but anytime he tried to even think about talking to her, his pager would go off or someone would talk to him, so he never got to.

The two of them, too stubborn and proud to apologize, steadily grew more and more miserable together. Neither was sleeping well and both lost their appetites. Only Callie knew for sure why both were so depressed, but everyone was speculating.

Addison started pushing food away when it was offered. Alex wouldn't sleep until he literally collapsed. Both were falling apart and neither knew where Holli was.

Then one day, Addison was walking down the street. Even though she had never really walked home before, it felt fitting that her thighs were screaming and her shoes were giving her blisters. No one got in her way or bumped into her, because most people, when they saw the look on her face and the blankness in her eyes, crossed to the other side of the street to get away from it.

Looking across the street Addison saw a mass of black curls bobbing through the crowd, so she quickly crossed the street. "Holli?" she called after the girl, who kept walking. "Holli? Please talk to me! I'm so sorry!" Finally the girl turned around, but it wasn't Holli. Addison blushed profusely and apologized and continued on her way.

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**don't hate me! or throw things at me! -huddles in corner-**

**but don't forget that i'm still blackmailing you, so review people!!**


	7. I Don't Care If You Are Damaged Goods

**a/n: so sorry that the last couple chapters have been kind of depressing, but haven't you ever heard the saying 'it has to get worse to get better'? probably not since i just made it up... anyways i'm kinda just writing this not thinking about it so blame my fingers, not me. apparently my fingers think addison has a self esteem problem, as is evident in this chapter...**

**disclaimer: ditto everything i've written in previous chapters**

* * *

Alex was sitting at home, contemplating what he was going to do about Addison, when there was a knock at the door. He got up and answered it. He was shocked to see Holli standing there in a dirty jacket and pajamas. She made a sobbing noise and flung herself into his arms. He hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around her. She wasn't Addison, but she was pretty damn close (I don't mean this to sound weirdo perverted, I just meant that Addison and Holli are really close. Sorry if you thought that was obvious and this is stupid, but kids at my old school had strange minds, so I got used to having to explain myself. Anyways, carry on). "What is it? Are you okay?" But all she did was sob.

"Holli, what's going on?" he asked, gently, but quickly losing his patience. "Where have you been?"

She finally calmed down enough to actually manage to speak. "Nowhere," she answered. The truth was she had been living in an old abandoned warehouse with about ten other people. And it was awful. She had no money for food so she was just as thin if not thinner than Addison was. Her hair was disgustingly greasy and she looked like she hadn't showered in days. She had done the best job of cleaning up that she could, but it was hard in a public bathroom. Her skin was pale and her eyes had none of the fire that was usually there.

"You had to be somewhere. It's physically impossible to be nowhere."

"I was somewhere that might as well have been nowhere."

"Why are you here? Why aren't you at… Addison's?" he had to pause before he could say her name. It was the first time that he had said it out loud since the night they had broken up.

"She hates me," Holli said matter-of-factly.

"She doesn't hate you. She could never hate you."

"Well, she certainly doesn't want me there. Why aren't you there?"

"Because we broke up."

"Which reminds me, why _did _you break up?"

"Because I caught her with Mark Sloane."

"No!" Holli gasped. "Like, _with_ him with him or just with him?"

"With him."

"So you broke up with her because she was talking to him?" Holli asked.

"They were more than just talking…" Alex weakly defended his decision.

"Were they kissing?" Holli sounded like she was talking to a three year old.

"N-no," he stumbled.

"So you broke up with her because she was talking to him? And probably more like _he_ was talking to _her_. Have you been paying any attention at all, you dumbass? He always talks to her and bugs her and she always blows him off. She doesn't want him! She wants _you_! He wants her but she doesn't want him because she has you! Well, had, until you were a moron and jumped to conclusions and ruined everything!" Holli yelled.

"They were pretty cozy," his voice got smaller with each word, knowing that he was defeated but not wanting to admit it.

"Have you not noticed that he gets into her space anytime they talk? And she always tries to get him to leave her alone, but it never works? You are so clueless!"

"You weren't there, how would you know?"

"Because I've seen the two of them together and I know Addison. And I know that Addison would never do anything like that anymore. Maybe once upon a time yes, but now? No."

"It doesn't matter anymore," he mumbled sinking onto the couch. "She probably hates me."

"She couldn't hate you. It's not possible."

"Yes it is."

"My God, you're so stubborn! If you would stop and listen to me for one second then you would know that it's not possible! You need to stop being so proud and go talk to her."

"You're not going to," Alex pointed out.

"That's different, she doesn't want to talk to me, but she wants to talk to you. So you need to go talk to her. Go now!" Holli ordered.

"I feel like I should at least feed you or something…"

"Don't you even think about it, Alex Karev. Go talk to her. Don't worry about me, I'll just raid your kitchen."

"Alright Carpenter. Don't burn the place down."

"Oh, just go already."

--------------------

Alex ran to her house, but she wasn't there. Then he recalled that she was on-call that night and was at the hospital (he always checked her schedule). So he sprinted there. By the time he reached the hospital he was sweaty and his legs were screaming at him, but he wasn't in the least bit tired. He saw Miranda and ran up to her. "Any idea where I can find Addison?"

"I think she's taking a quick nap at the moment. Why? What are you up to Karev?" she asked, her eyes narrowing. But she didn't get an answer as Karev was sprinting up to what he knew was Addison's favorite on-call room (it was the same one that they had first slept together in).

He walked in and found her lying on a bed, crying quietly. A strong wave of protectiveness washed over him. To the rest of the world, she was Addison Forbes Montgomery, aka Satan. She had no known emotions and was never hurt. To him and Holli and Callie, she was just Addi, the woman who hid behind her reputation and dove into her work so that she wouldn't be crushed anymore than she had been. She looked so hurt, so destroyed, at that moment that all he wanted to do was hurt the person who had done this to her. And then he remembered that it was him. She looked up at him with bloodshot eyes. "What do you want?" she snapped sitting up, trying to keep whatever bit of dignity she had left intact.

"To apologize."

She was a little surprised at his blunt answer, but this was Alex after all. _Her _Alex. Even after all of this, she still thought of him as hers. "For what? You didn't do anything-"

"I got jealous and I dumped you because I jumped to a really wrong conclusion."

"I was the one who did the dumping."

"No. If you hadn't then I would have."

"It's my fault," she said shaking her head. "I hate myself."

"Don't say that, don't you ever say that," he replied fiercely, almost angrily.

"But it's true. I'm a miserable, horrible person. I shouldn't even be as successful as I am now. I don't have a real purpose, I'm just here to ruin people's lives."

"That's not true and you know it. You save people's lives everyday and half of them are babies that wouldn't have a chance at life if it weren't for you. You've done nothing but good since you came here. You saved Holli's life. You save mine everyday."

"I do not save your life."

"Maybe not in the sense that you cut me open and fix me physically or stop someone from hurting me, but you stop me from becoming like my ex-idol, from becoming another manwhore. The world has plenty of those and I almost joined them. And then I met you. And I couldn't even think about flirting with anyone else. The very thought made me sick to my stomach. Still does, in fact."

"Shut up. You don't want me, Alex. I'm damaged goods. I have too much baggage, and I'll just bring you down too," Somewhere along the road Addison had managed to convince herself that she wasn't worthy of him. "Just do yourself a favor and leave before I break you too."

And then he leaned in and kissed her softly, knowing that was exactly what she needed. He pulled back slightly, but their foreheads were still touching. "I have wanted to do that since approximately three seconds after you walked off that night."

"I've wanted to do that since approximately three hours before that, ha, I win," she said with a small smile. "Speaking of that night, I've got to know, what were you doing there? Weren't you supposed to be with Holli?"

"This," he answered as he eased himself off the bed and onto one knee. Addison looked at him warily, not sure if she should laugh, cry, run away screaming, or throw her arms around him and kiss him, so she didn't do anything. He pulled out the box that he had been carrying around with him ever since the day he had bought it, "Addison, I don't care if you're damaged goods. I don't care how broken you are inside. I do care that you are happy, and I know that you make me happy. When I'm with you nothing can go wrong, because you're there. I can only hope that I make you a millionth of as happy as you make me. But I want to try to make you this happy. I really want to try. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, Addison Forbes Montgomery, will you marry me?"

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**ah, the cliffhanger to end all cliffhangers! i've got most of the next chapter written, but i'm not posting without reviews so clicky the little button in the corner!**


	8. And That's When The Sobbing Started

**a/n: so judging by your reviews, y'all hate cliffhangers... but they're soo fun to write! and they inspire more reviews... this chapter doesn't really have one though, so never fear! it's a shorter chapter than usual but i've got finals to study for and i wanted to get SOMETHING up if only so people don't throw me off a cliff for not answering the question.**

**Dr.McHighHeels: sorry, it doesn't start with a yes and it doesn't end with a yes. but read on to find out!**

**MollybyGolly: kill me dead? that's from A Midsummer Night's Dream, is it not?**

**Everyone else: i know you want her to say yes, but no need to threaten me! geez!**

**disclaimer: i don't have enough money -sob- but if i did, they would be mine and alex would chase addison to la! **

* * *

"I, uh, I," Addison stuttered. Alex was starting to get nervous, thinking that maybe it was too soon. He started to get up but was stopped by Addison throwing herself into his arms and sitting on his knee, crying. 

"What? What's wrong?" he asked, kind of scared.

"I just wish I knew where Holli was!" she wailed. "This was not how it was supposed to go! She was supposed to be here!"

"I know. That's how I thought it would be too," he comforted her, not sure if he should tell her where Holli was just yet. (Yes, of course he should, but this is Karev we're talking about here. He can be pretty dumb.) "But you never actually answered," he pointed out.

"Yes!"

"Yes what?" Alex asked teasingly.

She shot him a look and rolled her eyes, but nevertheless said "Yes, I will marry you."

Alex answered by kissing her again and sliding the ring onto her finger. She looked down and gasped. Alex smiled. It was the exact reaction he had been hoping for and the exact reaction Holli had predicted. "I never knew you had such great taste in jewelry!" she exclaimed.

"I don't. Holli does. She picked it out. She said you'd love it."

The mention of Holli brought more tears to Addison's already flooded eyes. "Have you talked to her? Do you know where she is?" she asked anxiously.

"Uh, yeah. She's at my apartment," he answered guiltily.

"What? I've been worried sick this entire time and she's been at your apartment? Why didn't you tell me? What the hell were you thinking?!" she shrieked.

"Addi, chill. She showed up at my door about two hours ago. She told me to come find you. She didn't want to come because she's sure you hate her."

"I don't hate her!"

"She thinks you do. Come on, we'll go back to my place and you can talk to her," he said, getting up and forcing her up with him. When they were standing, he put his arm around her waist to support her and to comfort her.

"What are you doing?" Addison's instincts were still in the 'we don't want anyone to know' stage.

"People are going to notice the ring on your finger. I don't think we can keep this a secret anymore."

"Okay. But I don't want to tell anyone until we tell Holli. She _is _the reason we're together in the first place."

"Deal. But we have to walk."

"Why?" Addison looked suspicious.

"Because I was too excited by the idea that you might not hate me that I ran all the way here."

Addison laughed and gave him a quick kiss. And then she walked out the door.

-------------------------

During the thirty minutes it took them to walk to Alex's apartment Addison continued to get more and more nervous thinking about what would happen. So when they got to the apartment she had the sudden urge to turn and run. In fact she started to, but then Alex put his hand on the small of her back so she managed with just twisting her ring around nervously on her finger.

Alex unlocked the door and Holli looked up from the couch. "What took you so long? What'd she say?" she accosted him, jumping up.

"I think you should talk to her," he said, pointing over his shoulder to Addison, who up until that point had gone unnoticed. She looked at her warily, not sure what to expect. It was Addison who practically ran across the room and nearly knocked them both over.

And that's when the sobbing started. Again. For the third time in Alex's day. "Girls," he muttered and walked into his room.

"I am _so_ sorry!" Holli sobbed.

"Me too. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"But I shouldn't have run off."

"But I shouldn't have given you a reason to run off."

"But I-"

Holli was cut off by Alex yelling from the bedroom, "It's both your faults. Get over it and make up already!" which caused the two to start cracking up about the insensitivity of men.

"So what _did_ you say?" Holli asked. Addison just grinned like a maniac and waved her left hand in front of Holli's face, causing Holli to scream, which in turn caused Alex to cover his ears. "Oh my God!"

"I know!"

"Oh my God! You're engaged! Congratulations!" Holli screamed. "Wow! Look at that ring! He has such great taste!" she continued, not sure if Alex wanted it known that he had not picked out the ring.

"Drop the act. He already told me you picked it out. So, thank you. I love it."

"I did do a nice job, didn't I?" Holli commented smugly.

"That you did," Addison answered, just for once, allowing Holli's ego to inflate just a little, before pulling her into another hug.

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**i told you i didn't start or end with a yes, but there was one in there somewhere! so i have a couple questions**

**1) should i keep going?**

**and if i should, then**

**2) should addison a: stay Forbes Montgomery b: become Addison Karev or c: take some combination of the two?**

**click the button and tell me!**


	9. I'll Be Fine, Just Fine

**a/n: so here's another chapter... don't be surprised if the next chapter takes longer for me to get up, i have finals next week and all i'm going to be doing for the next couple of days is study my ass off.**

**disclaimer: i don't steal, i borrow.**

* * *

It was around two in the morning and Holli was lying in her bed, trying to get some sleep when something occurred to her. She tried to sleep but it made it impossible so she got up and ran to the next room, not bothering to knock. As she opened the door she realized this and steeled herself for the worst. Fortunately the pair had apparently been exhausted, because although they were both clearly naked under the sheets which were covering anything indecent, making it quite obvious what they had been doing earlier, (a fact that did not go unnoticed by Holli, and which she promptly thanked God for) they were also both asleep. This, in Holli's mind, would simply not do. "Addi! Wake up!" she whispered as she repeatedly poked the lump that was Addison.

"Huh? What? What time is it?" a very groggy Addison sat up and asked, her eyes opened about the minimal they could possibly be.

"Around two, I think. Not really sure. Don't really care," Holli shrugged.

"What do you want?" Addison whined.

"I just realized something."

"Well, isn't that tremendous for you? Congratulations, you deserve a medal or something. Let me get right on that!" Addison snapped sarcastically.

"You get mean when you're tired," Holli stated.

"Wow! Is that what you realized? Gee, I think the president needs to know about you! Just let me get my cell and I'll call him!"

"Shut up. Do you want to know or not?"

"Not really," Addison sighed, resigning herself to the fact that she was going to hear what Holli had to say, whether or not she wanted to.

"Once again, shut up. You have to tell everyone!"

"Yes. We've established that."

"Well, I didn't think about it! I can't wait to see Bailey's face when you tell her!"

"Oh God," Addison hid her head underneath her pillow, thinking about the yelling that was sure to ensue when they told Miranda.

"Well, have a good night!" Holli said cheerfully before bounding out the door.

Addison groaned and gave up the idea of getting any more sleep that night.

----------------------

It always took Alex a few minutes in the morning to wake up and remember just what the hell was going on in his life. Always, the first thing he remembered was Addison. The next thing was the body lying next to him. Because of his previous manwhore tendencies, this step always freaked him out. He was always afraid that the night before he had made some drunken mistake that would take Addison away from him. The third thing he noticed was the red hair that was always splayed across the pillow, assuring him that he hadn't done anything. The sight of that hair was always welcome. He loved that it was the first thing he saw in the morning.

The second thing he saw was her face. He was used to being the second one up, he liked to sleep, but something about her made him want to be up first. Maybe because it was the only time he ever saw her face really, truly peaceful. Or it could be because he loved seeing the almost confused look on her face when she woke up, it was the only moment when she allowed herself to look like she wasn't in control. But most likely it was because he loved waking her up.

He started kissing her bare shoulders, making her pull the sheets up to shield herself. So he started kissing her neck, causing her to moan, half in pleasure, half because he was disturbing her, and pull the sheets up even further. "Your entire head's going to be under the sheets if you keep that up," he teased, kissing her on the nose. This fully woke her up, and there was the confused look that he loved so much. And then as quickly as it appeared, it was gone.

"If that's what it takes to get you to leave me alone," she mumbled.

"Won't stop me. Sorry," he shrugged apologetically.

"Go away."

"No."

"Why not?" she groaned.

"Because if I do then you're going to fall back asleep and be late for work. And if you're late for work then you'll piss the Nazi off and that's not the mood you want her in when you tell her that we're engaged."

Addison's eyes shot open and widened in shock, "_I'm_ telling her? I thought that you're telling her!"

"Nope."

"And why not?"

"Because she's my boss and she can kick my ass off your service, and we don't want that do we? Not to mention she scares me."

"And you think she doesn't scare me?"

"You're friends with her," he pointed out, "And besides that, you're her boss, she can't do anything to you. But she can make my existence a complete hell and make me want to commit suicide. And you don't want me dead do you?"

"Honestly, at this exact moment, I wouldn't mind seeing you strangled."

"But then you couldn't marry me."

"I suppose that's true," she sighed, "Alright, I'll tell her. But you owe me."

"I can think of a couple ways to get out of debt," he smirked and kissed her, gently biting her lower lip.

"I need to shower," she stated as she pulled back.

"Alright, I'll join you."

"Nope. I'm going to shower. All by myself. Just little ole me all alone, wet and naked in the shower," she teased him, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Addison," he groaned.

"Think of cold showers. Oh wait, no don't, that'll just remind you… hmm, think of… Miranda instead of me."

Alex started to gag. "Did not need the mental image, Adds."

"Well, it helped didn't it? Just think of it as payback for making me tell her."

"Does that mean I'm free?"

"Oh, not even close," she answered with an evil smile. She gave him a chaste peck on the lips and walked into the bathroom, leaving a very scared and amused Alex behind.

-----------------------------

"Hey Miranda. Can I talk to you for a second?" Addison asked as she fell into step with the resident.

"Sure, you have until I get to the elevator, go," Bailey answered, not even looking at the redhead.

Addison figured that the best way was the direct approach, Miranda hated suck-ups and mind games. "I'm engaged."

"Really? Congratulations."

"To someone who works here," Addison continued warily. The statement finally got Bailey to stop and look at her.

"Who?"

Addison laughed nervously, "Um… Alex Karev," she said, suddenly overcome by the urge to shield her face.

Bailey just sighed, "Why is it always _my_ interns?"

------------------------------

"So, you and Dr. Montgomery, huh?" Izzie asked, coming up behind Alex.

"What? No!"

"Oh cut the crap Alex, it's all over Debbie's blog. Well, actually it just says she's engaged to someone who works here. But it's obviously not McDreamy. Can't be McSteamy, cuz she hates him. Can't be Burke, he's with Christina. And it most definitely can't be George. Therefore, by process of elimination, it's you."

"There are other people in this hospital, you know."

"Oh puh-lease. I've seen the way you two look at each other. I'm not blind. In fact, I think you'd have to be _dead_ to miss those looks. I just have one question."

"And what's that?" Alex asked wearily.

"How long?"

"How long what?"

"How long have you been together."

"Eleven and a half months and two days."

"Aw! You know it down to the day? That is so romantic! I didn't know you did romantic!"

"Iz, I don't."

"You apparently do now," she replied, but their conversation was cut short by both their pagers going off.

They both checked their individual pager, looked at each other and said simultaneously, "Bailey," And with that they broke into a run.

----------------------------

"Call it, Karev," Bailey sighed as she rubbed her temples. She hated losing patients. Especially ones that were young. Like this one. A fifteen year old girl who should have had a chance, but had bled out on the table.

"Time of death 11:37 am."

This was the part of surgery that Alex hated. He hated that he couldn't do anything to stop people from losing their lives. He hated that he wasn't in control. He also hated telling the parents. How could you tell someone that their child, someone they had spent so much time and love on, was dead?

The best way, he figured, was to get it over with. Come out, see the parents' hopeful faces, look sorry and full of remorse, shake head slightly, tell them that you had done everything and let them hate you for being the angel of death. That was his routine every time and it had never failed him. It didn't fail him now either.

"I'm so sorry. We did everything we could," he said. The mother broke into sobs and her husband looked shocked but hugged his wife tightly. For some reason this struck Alex differently than usual. He had seen this scene hundreds of times without it affecting, but this time it made him want to cry. Maybe it was because the girl was Holli's age. Holli who he was starting to think of as almost a daughter, albeit one who called him on his bullshit and wouldn't let anything go and knew exactly how to annoy him so that he would do what she wanted. The girl had been carrying her school id in her wallet, she had gone to the same school as Holli. They were probably in the same class. Or maybe it was because it was so like the scene in the on-call room. But that scene had had a happy ending, unlike this one. Whatever the case was, he made his excuses and dodged into a supply closet.

Holli was walking down the same hallway and saw him go in, so she followed him. "Hey. You okay?"

"I'll be fine," he answered trying to regain his composure and not cry.

"What's wrong?"

"I just lost a patient. It was really a simple surgery but she bled out. She was fifteen. She should have had a life, damn it!" At this point he slammed his fist down on a metal shelf, causing lots of medical supplies to shiver and shake.

"I'm sorry Alex. I really am. But this usually doesn't affect you like this."

"She went to your school. She was in your class," he said without looking at her.

"What was her name?" Holli asked anxiously when she heard that.

"Cassandra Johnson," he answered her. She made a strangled noise and sank to the floor wide-eyed. "Are you okay?"

"I- I knew her. She was in every one of my classes. She was my school person," she said in a strange, monotonous voice.

"Holli," he started to say.

"And now she's gone," she cut him off in the same tone, "She's dead," she continued, dragging out the word dead, as if she was testing it out.

"Holli, are you okay."

"I'll be fine, just fine," she said, in a dreamy voice, like she wasn't really there. And then she got up and walked away in a daze.

* * *

**reviews can entice me away from my studying and to a computer to write! but the hostage situation still applies.**


	10. Qualified To Make Morbid Jokes

**a/n: i don't have all that much to say, except that let me apologize in advance if this is really sad, i get depressing when i'm stressed. but enjoy it anyways!**

**disclaimer: i have said it multiple times before and will probably say it multiple times again, i don't own grey's**

* * *

Holli spent the rest of the day in the same daze. There were no tears, no hysterical sobbing. She was good at hiding her emotions. She had learned when she was about five that showing any anger around her mother would earn her a slap. So she learned to keep any emotion concealed. And it worked. No one could guess that her seemingly permanent happiness was a mask for any other emotion. Sure, she was a little out of practice because she had been letting people in lately, but she was still a master. No one could guess that anything was wrong, except Addison. As the day wore on she became more and more worried about Holli. Her worry reached it's peak when she saw a creepy thirty something man hit on Holli and Holli didn't get mad. Holli always let that kind of person know exactly what she thought of them. She would scream at them and slap them across the face and only then would she walk away. So it was troubling when all she did was walk away. She didn't even give him a disgusted look. 

It continued when they went home that night. Alex, knowing how upset Holli had to be, had given Addison a kiss and promised to call later.

"I'm gonna go to bed," Holli said as they walked in the door.

"Alright," Addison answered, "Holli? You can stay in my room tonight, if you want."

"Thanks, but I'm fine. Really. You don't have to hover."

"Okay, if you're sure…" Addison responded unsurely and headed off to bed.

-------------------------

It was probably around midnight when Addison heard the door creak open. The noise woke her up and knowing who it was, she scooted over to make room. She felt a slight chill as the covers lifted up and Holli got under them. "You okay?" Addison whispered.

"She was going to be my maid of honor."

The statement thoroughly confused Addison, who wasn't aware of any wedding except her own. She didn't even know of a possible boyfriend. "Wh-"

"We had our futures planned out. We were going to get straight A's and then go to Berkeley or Stanford or Pepperdine. A good school somewhere in California. Somewhere where there is actually a change in weather. And then we were going to meet guys and fall in love and get married. And we were going to be each others maid of honor. And then we were going to live in the same suburbs of the same city, preferably in the same neighborhood. We were each going to have a pet. A dog for me, and a cat for her, since she was allergic to dogs. And then when we had kids, we were going to get them together for play dates every Saturday. That was what was supposed to happen. And now it never can," Holli explained. She had been staring at the wall during the entire speech and didn't notice the single tear that her eyes and rapid blinking allowed through. "It's just strange, you know? I mean, earlier today I was contemplating calling her, and now I'm contemplating whether or not I'll be able to make it to her funeral."

Addison didn't have a response to this, so she turned over and wrapped her arms around Holli, trying to give her some sort of comfort. Holli didn't respond, but she didn't push her away either.

Holli knew that she should have some response to Addison putting her arm around her, but she was honestly too emotionally drained to even care. So she didn't move closer and she didn't push her away. She just stared at the wall until finally sleep washed over her.

--------------------------

The next morning Holli was back in her 'everything is fine' mask. And that worried Addison. Usually by now the shock had worn off and the hysterical sobbing and grief had set in. But not for Holli. She managed to get herself up and dressed and fed before Addison even thought about waking up. She sat and watched TV while Addison was getting ready. She acted like it was any other day. An outsider would have never known anything was wrong. Addison might not have noticed either, except there were subtle differences. Holli didn't smile once. She didn't joke or tease anyone. There was no gleam in her eyes. She didn't look sad, but without that gleam she looked, Addison had no idea what to call it, but the best word for it would have been empty. Her posture was different, she seemed smaller. They were all little changes, but ones that Addison couldn't help but notice. "You can cry you know. It is allowed," she said in the middle of a particularly painful and silent car ride.

"I'm fine."

"Your best friend is dead. There is no way you can be fine!" Holli flinched at the outburst and the use of the word 'dead'. "I'm sorry. That was harsh. But you can't possibly be doing as well as you make yourself out to be. You haven't cried or grieved. You have to do things like that. It's part of the healing process."

"Who died and made you expert of everything?" Holli snapped. "Look, it's not that I'm not sad," Addison looked over, hoping that Holli would finally talk or cry or do _something_. And for a moment Holli almost did, but then thought about it and retreated back inside herself, "But I am _fine_. I'm fine," she repeated, hoping that maybe if she said it enough times it would be true.

-----------------------------

During the weeks leading up to Cassandra's funeral Holli retreated further and further into herself until she would rarely talk to anyone. She wouldn't eat, she wouldn't go to the hospital. She stayed in her room all day listening to depressing music and staring at the ceiling. Sometimes, if she didn't blink, she could make out pictures. But the images would scare her, because they told her the truth, that she wasn't fine, and she would blink and they would disappear. And all the while, she was getting sadder and sadder, but not once did she cry. She wouldn't allow herself to cry. Cassandra had never liked crying and she had never had any tolerance for too much sympathy, so Holli wouldn't let herself be affected. But she was being affected, she just didn't believe it.

Addison noticed all of this. She knew that she should try to do something, anything, but she didn't know what to do. She had no clue what to say; she had never been a mom, in fact she had killed both chances of that. Well, the first one wasn't her fault, but the second chance, now that was completely and utterly her own fault. But no matter who's fault it was, she had never had to be there like this for anyone. No matter whose fault it was, she sat back and watched as her godchild got more and more depressed. She went to the hospital as little as possible and put off all the wedding planning. There was too much joy in planning it, and she refused to be happy until Holli was.

The day of Cassandra's funeral Holli decided she had had enough. Addison and Alex were both at the hospital, but they were due home any minute, so she finally got up, grabbed a piece of paper and pen, scribbled a note, and. before she could change her mind, stuck it by the coffee maker where Addison was sure to see it. And then she ran out the door, not even grabbing her beloved iPod.

----------------------------------

About fifteen minutes later Addison went into her kitchen, in dire need of caffeine. And that's when she saw the note. It was folded messily and her name was scribbled across the front of it. Curious, she opened it, read it, and then she gasped at the contents of the note.

_Addi, _it said. _I'm not really sure what I'm doing right now. I'm kind of acting impulsively, which is nothing new for me. Right now though, I just feel like I can't do this anymore. I don't know why, but I can't. It just doesn't seem right, that I'm here and Cassandra isn't. I couldn't go to her funeral and I don't really know if I can stay here. Like I said, I don't really know what I'm doing, but I do know where I'm going. If you get home soon, then I'll be at the park, you know the one, the one with the big, deep pond about two miles from your house? I don't know what I'll do when I get there, but if this ends up being a suicide note, then I just want you to know that I love you, and that even though I'm not there, you should still get married. Because you deserve happiness and I know that if I'm gone and I don't tell you this, then you won't do it, because you'll feel responsible and like you don't feel like you deserve it. You're not responsible and you totally deserve it, Adds, I promise. The responsibility's all mine, and I fully accept that. So you know where I am, and if you hurry then maybe you can catch me before I go. If I go. I don't know whether or not I will, but I really wanted to have all my bases covered, just in case. Once again, I love you and you _need_ to get married. I'm sorry if I ruin your happiness, but please don't be all that sad. Just know, that if I decide I need to go, that I'm watching you. Wait, that sounded slightly stalker-ish. I just mean that I'll be there, whether or not I'm physically there. It'll be okay, I promise._

_Peace and much love,_

_Holli_

After reading that, Addison nearly fainted. She probably would have, except that she was too busy grabbing her keys and running for her car.

* * *

**now should i end it here or not? it would be a humongous cliffhanger...**

**nah, i'm not _that_ mean**

* * *

It took her a matter of minutes to get there, but even though it didn't take her long, time was a precious commodity in this situation. Her eyes quickly scanned the water of the lake, but she didn't see anything. She wasn't sure whether or not to cry in relief or grief, so she carefully scanned the humongous rocks around the lake. She was just about to give up hope when she noticed a figure curled up on the top of one of the rocks that had a gentle enough slope to climb. She hurried over to it, slipped off her heels, and started to climb. When she reached the top, she realized that it was indeed Holli, who was looking at her strangely. 

"Don't you ever scare me like that again, Holli Elizabeth Carpenter," she panted. "Don't you ever even think about it."

"I actually did it," Holli said, more to herself than Addison. This confused Addison even more, because Holli could not have committed suicide and be talking to her now. And then she realized that Holli was soaking wet. Holy shit, she had actually done it. "I jumped in and I just stopped. I stopped breathing, I stopped kicking, I stopped moving. I did everything but stop thinking. I kept thinking about you and Alex and how I was never going to see you get married. And for some reason that made me want to live more than anything else. So I managed to kick a little and I got my mouth out of the water and started breathing. So you had better make that wedding worth it. After all, I'm alive because of it."

"How can you even joke about something like that?"

"You know I'm not really sure, I think it comes with the near death experience. I think it qualifies you to make morbid jokes," Holli replied, sounding more and more like her old self with each word, even managing a genuine smile. It wasn't her normal grin, but it was there.

"I missed that smile," Addison commented.

"It _is_ pretty fantastic, if I do say so myself."

"I'm just glad it still exists," Addison said before pulling Holli into a hug. And then she began to laugh hysteric, crazy woman laughs. And before long she was sobbing into Holli's shoulder, which was not helping Holli dry off.

"Let me tell you something," Holli whispered, "If I had died, I would have regretted it immensely and I would have missed you the most."

* * *

**and there you have it. aren't you glad i didn't stop where i wanted to? i still have finals, but the more reviews i get the less i study for them and the more time i spend writing the next chapter!**


	11. Damsel In Distress No More

**a/n: good news! i have two more finals tomorrow and then i'm on summer vacation!! -does little victory dance- anyways, here's a new chapter. sorry it took so long, but i was busy failing my world geography final. okay maybe not FAILING but doing badly. i don't fail. period. end of sentence. oh and let me apologize in advance if you don't like cute fluffy moments. sometimes my addex muse goes all gooey on me. oh and for any diehard charmed fans out there, there is a line from charmed that i 'borrowed', find it and i will be very impressed and give you some sort of prize. like maybe a sneak peak of next chapter. is that enough incentive?**

**disclaimer: i do not own grey's anatomy. i will one day, however. you will know because everyone will actually like the show and not form plots on shonda's life again. or mine, for that matter. **

* * *

The pair stayed at the lake staring at the water for another half an hour before Holli started to shiver. "Can you walk?" Addison asked.

"Yeah, I'm cold and depressed, not paralyzed," Holli retorted sounding so much more like herself that Addison grinned.

"Excuse me. Whether or not you're paralyzed, we need to leave before you get pneumonia."

"Hey, can I ask you a favor?"

"Anything."

"For some unexplainable reason I don't like this park anymore. Can we never come back here again?"

"Absolutely. Say goodbye to the park Holli."

"Goodbye to the park Holli," Holli said, the picture of seriousness except for a mischievous glimmer in her eyes.

"That's not funny," Addison pointed out.

"Maybe not to you," Holli replied before breaking into laughter "Race you to the car!" she cried before running ahead. Addison rolled her eyes but nevertheless started to run. _Anything to keep Holli happy and away from that water_, she thought. And that's when she realized just how badly she missed being a kid. So she said to heck with it (staying in character with being a child of course) and started sprinting to catch up with her.

--------------------

Everyone knew. That was the problem with the hospital. Everyone knew that Holli had tried to kill herself. Addison had told Alex and Callie. Callie had told George. George had told Izzie. Izzie had told Meredith. Meredith had told Christina. Christina had told Burke and a nurse overheard. The nurse told more nurses, which Derek overheard. Derek told Chief and Mark had overheard. Chief told Bailey. And that's where it stopped since Bailey wasn't that big of a gossiper. Well, that and everyone else already knew.

What everyone else did not know was the engagement of Addison and Alex and it was frustrating Holli immensely. Most people speculated, when they heard of Addison's engagement, that she was engaged to an EMT who was constantly undressing her with his eyes (hello unreturned eyesex!). No one looked even once towards the correct answer. Well, except those who actually knew (aka Bailey, Holli, and the interns). It was the one time that they had ever managed to keep a secret (thank God) and for once Alex wasn't the subject of the hospital gossip. Everyone had seemed to forget about the sexual tension that had used to exist between the two before they had stopped with the eyesex and started with the actual sex (not that they knew the last part, of course).

Another thing that was frustrating Holli was that everyone was treating her like a china doll. Just one freaking lapse of judgment and suddenly she was the girl who if anything went wrong might just kill herself. People would tiptoe around her and smile encouragingly and it was slowly driving her mad. "Would you stop that?" she practically screamed at Izzie, who looked startled.

"With what?"

"You and everyone are treating me like I'm one step away from the edge of a cliff! I feel like I'm living in a freaking fishbowl! Stop it! I'm not going insane, I'm better, I have a clean bill of health, psych says so! So please stop acting as if I'm going to drown myself if I spill something. I'm not going to. I'm fine and I actually mean it this time!"

Izzie just stared at her so she let out a frustrated sigh and walked away.

-------------------------

"Go with lilies, I love lilies," Holli advised Addison as the two were sitting on the couch in the living room trying to put together a spectacular wedding.

"Aren't lilies like the flower of death or something?"

"Tulips then."

"I hate tulips."

"Roses."

"I don't know…"

"Addison, if you want flowers at your wedding then you're going to have to make a decision," Holli pointed out.

"I know that. It's just so difficult."

"It's your second wedding, I would have thought that you would have more experience with stuff like this."

"Okay, number one, my last wedding was over a decade ago, so please forgive me if I'm a little out of practice. And number two, it's not like you're any help."

"In response to number one, do you realize just how old that makes you sound? And to number two, I'm trying to help, but you keep telling me no."

"So I'm old now? Am I too old to get married? Am I destined to end up old and alone?" Addison asked, half kidding.

"That's not what I meant. It's just that your last wedding was over a _decade_ ago. It makes you sound old. Not that you are old, just that it makes you sound like it."

"What would I do without you and your endless insights?" Addison asked sarcastically.

"Oh, suffer endlessly, no doubt," Holli said with such confidence that Addison chucked a pillow at her. Holli ducked and grabbed another pillow and started pounding the defenseless Addison with it. Addison shrieked and put up her hands to defend her face.

"Cool, pillow fight," Alex said as he walked through the front door. "But Holli, you've got to stop going for her face, I don't want her disfigured on her wedding day."

"Fine," Holli sulked, but continued to hit Addison.

"Stop, halt, cease, desist," Alex ordered her, so she did. Then he walked over and took the pillow from Holli and promptly began to hit Addison.

"Hey! I thought you were on my side!"

"Nope, too much fun to make you scream to pass up," he shrugged, pinning her down underneath him.

"I hate you," she smiled, struggling to get out from beneath him.

"No you don't, you love me."

"You're a cocky ass, you know that right?"

"And you know you love it," he retorted. Then he dropped the pillow and began to tickle her, causing her to shriek louder and flail wildly, trying to get away.

"You two are cute, but I'm gonna go now," Holli said quietly, inching out the door unnoticed before things could heat up. Neither of the two paid attention, they were too busy kissing.

-------------------------

"So, when's the wedding?" asked Mark, surprising Addison. "I'm assuming I'm invited."

"Huh?"

"The wedding. When is it? You have set a date haven't you?" challenged Mark, staring into Addison's eyes. And then she noticed just how close he was standing. Even if it was the usual Mark distance, it was no longer acceptable. So she took a step back. "Afraid of something Addi?" he asked playfully, stepping forward so that they were even closer.

"Yes, you. You need to back off. Now," she ordered, anything but playful.

"Why?" he slipped an arm around her waist and pulled them together, so that he was hugging her and her head had nowhere to go but his shoulder. A year and a half ago she wouldn't have fought back quite as hard, but now she had Alex, so she tried as hard she could to break free.

"Let me go, Mark."

"Why? You never used to mind," he sulked, but kept a firm hold on her all the same.

"I'm engaged now, you can't just grab me any time you feel like it."

"You were married before and you didn't seem to care," he retorted, still not letting go of her.

"This is different," she protested, still struggling, but only managing to move her head.

Mark felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find Holli looking on, almost amused. "What do you want?" he asked, annoyed.

"I want you to let her go before I call Karev and tell him that you're basically molesting his fiancée," she answered, her voice never wavering from her amused tone, but looking quite serious.

"I'm not scared of Karev," he growled. Addison was getting bored of being the damsel-in-distress, she wasn't used to it.

"But you are afraid of the Chief, and he's next on my list of people to call. Although Alex would probably get to him first," she said, completely calm.

Addison sighed, frustrated. She could save herself, thank you very much, so just as Holli finished her sentence she brought her knee up hard, knowing that what she made contact with would allow her not only to escape from his hold but also cause him pain, which seemed like exactly what he deserved at this moment. And she was right. He groaned and let go of her as he doubled over. "That's for being an asshole. Just thought you'd want to know," she said, before walking away with Holli in tow.

* * *

**and there you have it. i know mark seems like a jackass, but he is, you know. and i'm also sorry if it seems like he was actually going to molest her or something, swear he wasn't, he was teasing mostly. i mean, he obviously still has feelings for her, both in this story and in the show, and he's mark, so it's obvious that he has to playfully sexually harrass her to show her his feelings. this is mark we're talking about people! **

**i would be very happy and write faster if you review. and you remember the whole hostage situation thing... oh, and i'm not exactly running out of ideas, but i would love some new ones, so if you could tell me what you think should happen then i will give you cyber-candy or a cyber-cake. take your pick. just include it in your review:) and aside from giving cyber-sugar, i will quite possibly use your ideas!**


	12. Puppy Dog

**a/n: look! there's more! i'm sorry if these chapters take forever to update, but i get these ideas for other stories that cause writer's block on this story. i'm going to try to wrap this up, but that'll take forever since i at least have to go to the wedding. i know that if i don't, i risk being attacked in my sleep and forced to keep writing. **

**as for the little 'find the charmed reference' no one even attempted it, so no one has any idea what's in this chapter. if you were curious it was "oh, suffer endlessly, no doubt." and everyone who reviewed, have some cyber-sugar!**

**MollybyGolly: i'm sorry, cuzzy, i know how much you wanted them to shank mark... do you want butterscotch brownies, cake, or regular chocolate brownies for your review?**

**Tomate and Noticeable801: aww, thanks guys! want some cyber-cookies?**

**HuntingPeace: glad i made your night. makes me feel special inside. :) cyber-cupcake?**

**McAddex: thank you for being unlazy and reviewing every single chapter even though you could have just reviewed the last one, you are my new bff. and i'm proud of you for sticking it out and not peeking at the last chapter. yay for you! i'm also a complete sucker for addex fluff, it makes the story! and lastly, i love the word cyber-sugar too. you can have some for being a great reader and reviewing!**

**disclaimer: last time i checked, i didn't own grey's anatomy.**

**anyways, i'll let you read now.**

* * *

"That was phenomenal! I cannot believe you did that!" Holli exclaimed as they hustled down the corridor, away from the aching Mark. 

"Can't believe she did what?" Alex asked as he turned a corner. "What did you do now?" he turned and asked Addison sternly, but with a twinkle in his eye (guys can have twinkling eyes too, you know).

"Nothing," she put on her most innocent face and batted her eyelashes. He laughed.

"Yeah, sure, she did nothing," Holli said, "If nothing means she just killed Sloane's chances of reproducing, which, now that I think about it, is probably a good thing. The world does not need more Mark Sloanes. Don't worry, she didn't do anything I wouldn't have done in the same situation."

"That's what worries me," Alex joked, "And just what did Sloane do to deserve that?"

"He was being Sloane and hitting on her," Holli answered blasé.

"He was what? I'm going to kill that bastard," Alex got angrier with each word. Holli shrank back, half in fear, half because she would love to see Sloane killed. He had hurt the two people she loved most one too many times.

"Alex," Addison warned him. He looked over at her. "It's fine. Forget it," she pleaded, both verbally and with her eyes.

"Alright, but only if you answer one question."

"Fine, anything," she hurriedly agreed wanting to avoid a fistfight in the hospital that could very well lose Alex his job.

"Why was he even talking to you?"

That question made Addison feel so many things, even she wasn't sure of all her emotions. She knew she registered rage (he couldn't control who she talked to!) and happiness (he cared enough to care why she was talking to someone like Mark Sloane) and several other contradictory emotions. Just to be sure of his motives she asked cautiously, "Why?"

"Because he's bad for you and I worry about you. I just don't want you hurt again."

"I couldn't have said it better myself," Holli put in, making the couple jump. They had forgotten her presence.

"Oh. Well then," Addison said, flustered because she had been so ready to argue with her fiancé. "He was asking about the wedding. Why'd you tell him?"

"I didn't tell him."

"But if I didn't tell him and you didn't tell him…" Addison trailed off as they both looked accusingly at Holli.

"What? I didn't tell him!" she held her hands up to shield her face from the visual daggers.

Addison and Alex looked at each other and stated simultaneously, "Izzie."

---------------------------

Izzie was going over a patients chart when she felt someone's eyes on her. She turned to find not only a pissed Alex but an annoyed but uncomfortable Dr. Montgomery. "Is there something I can do for you?" she asked.

"A word, Dr. Stevens," Dr. Montgomery demanded, somberly beckoning to a supply closet. Izzie followed warily. Alex walked with Dr. Montgomery like the well trained puppy dog he was around her.

The door was closed a full second before Alex started yelling about… something. She couldn't really understand, he was hard to understand in his current condition. Dr. Montgomery touched his shoulder and although he still looked annoyed, he shut up. Wow, she really had turned him into a puppy dog.

"Are we done here?" Izzie didn't want to be rude but it did seem like they were. At least, Alex wasn't yelling anymore.

"Sloane?" Dr. Montgomery asked, an eyebrow raised.

"What about him?" Izzie tried to look innocent, but it wasn't really working for her this time.

"Why'd you tell him?" Alex asked.

"What did I tell him?" Izzie shot back, holding on to her innocence until the very end.

"The wedding. Why did you tell him about the wedding?" Dr. Montgomery questioned her, starting to sound very annoyed, something she didn't usually allow herself to sound like.

"Wedding? What wedding?"

"Drop the act, Izzie. We know," Alex said.

"How do you it was me? How do you know it wasn't one of the nurses?"

Both Dr. Montgomery and Alex glared at her.

"Okay, so maybe I let it slip. I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Dr. Montgomery rolled her eyes but nevertheless answered, albeit with a sigh, "It's fine," and walked out of the supply closet leaving Alex behind.

"Aren't you going to follow her?"

"No. Why would I?" Alex was confused.

"You always follow her."

"No I don't."

"Alex, she's got you following her around like she's got you on a leash."

"No she doesn't."

"She does. You follow her. You're always around her. When she leaves you watch her. You're never apart! I never get to talk to you or even say hi because you're always talking to her. And when you're not talking to her you're talking _about_ her. I'm sick of it!" Izzie yelled.

"Why do you care so much?" Alex yelled back. Izzie looked down at the floor. "Iz, why do you care?" he asked again, but gentler this time.

"I- I think I, well, I don't know for sure, but I think I might, well, uh, see the thing is-"

"You're rambling," Alex pointed out.

"I think I might be, uh, in love with you," Izzie flinched.

"Wow," Alex looked shocked. "Wasn't expecting that."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I just thought that maybe if I said it then you would realize that you were wrong."

"I'm really sorry Izzie. I like you a lot and maybe a year ago I would have thought that maybe I loved you, but I'm with Addison. I don't know how to explain it, but knowing what I feel for her, I know that you couldn't possibly feel the same for me."

"Oh. Okay. Well then, I'm just going to go somewhere else now," Izzie scampered out of the closet.

------------------------------

Addison was leaning on the door of Mr. Richards' room (Coma Guy, remember?) watching Holli talk when she felt strong arms slide around her waist and someone kiss her neck. She turned and, thank God, it was Alex. "Hey," she greeted him softly as she leaned back into his embrace.

"Hey," he replied, taking his mouth off her neck long enough to answer. "They must not work you hard enough if you have time to stand around like this," he joked.

"Not funny."

"I know."

She looked at him, searching his face. Something was different about him and she didn't like it. "What's wrong? You seem off."

"Izzie told me something and it threw me," he answered. She put her arms around his neck and buried her face in his collarbone.

"And what was that?" she murmured into his neck.

"She told me she loved me," was his reply and it was enough to make Addison jump back and stare at him.

"And what did you say?" she asked warily.

"That I love you," he answered, pulling her into a hug much in the way of Mark, only not forced.

"I'm can be pretty awful, so you better be completely sure. _Are _you sure about it?"

"Positive. You're off now, aren't you? Let's go home."

* * *

**2 more things and then you can clicky the little button in the corner and make my day...**

**1) still looking for plot ideas**

**and **

**2) i'm now also looking for people to help me take over shondaland and grey's anatomy. anyone interested?**


	13. Just Engaged For A Laugh

**a/n: see, i update fairly regularly! sorry this chapter's not quite as fun and doesn't have a lot of addex, but whatever.**

**PaoHalliwell: i'm sorry, but you may not kill izzie. i need her for the story. feel free once the story's over though.**

**Molly: seriously? i think _you've_ gone crazy. i'm sorry but i cannot see addison as a sex slave. rather a scary thought. she'd get out of it eventualy, since she's addison and all...**

**McAddex: 1) aw, thank you. 2) you're welcome for the cyber-sugar. want some more? i have lots more 3) i'm sorry that you're screwed w/ your plot. i've read your stuff and i'm sure whatever you come up with will be absolutely marvelous 4) and yes, if we take over shondaland then we can get addex back. that's my entire reason for it!**

**everyone else: k, so we need to come up with a plan since judging by everyone's reaction we are so taking over shondaland. so they'd better watch out!**

**disclaimer: not yet. not yet.**

* * *

"Lilacs?"

"They're so… purple."

"Birds of paradise?"

"No."

Holli rolled her eyes and threw out her last suggestion, "How about orchids?"

"Orchids?"

"Yes."

"Orchids," Addison repeated slowly as if tasting the word.

"Yes," Holli replied annoyed.

"How do you feel about orchids?" Addison yelled into the kitchen, where Alex was warming a pre-made dinner, since neither he nor Addison enjoyed cooking, they could in an emergency, but, given the choice, would prefer to stick their heads in the oven, and Holli stopped in her tracks at the mention of anything that couldn't be eaten cold or warmed in the microwave.

"If you want them then I love them," he yelled back.

"Are you just saying that? Do you secretly hate them? Because if you do, then you need to speak up now or forever hold your peace. Do you like orchids?"

"I do," he said, walking into the living room. "I do. I like the sound of that. I do," he repeated himself with a smile on his face.

"I like it too," she grinned. "But are you sure about the orchids?"

"Yes," he answered, and before she could say anything else, planted a kiss on her lips. "I'm positive. I have nothing against orchids and if they make you happy, then they're my favorite flower."

"So, orchids?" she looked between Alex and Holli. Alex nodded.

"Orchids," Holli confirmed.

"Orchids," she repeated.

-----------------------

Addison was lying awake that night, thinking. Then she realized something that made her start having what seemed like a panic attack. She had to tell Derek and Richard. Derek would pretend to be happy but he would be hurt. But he had Meredith. But that still didn't mean that he wouldn't be hurt. And they were just starting to be able to talk and even had the possibility of becoming friends. Damn. It really was too bad that he had ruined her happiness one too many times for her to care about that friendship more than her impending marriage. Richard would be happy until she told him to whom she was going to be married. And then he would go off on attending/intern relationships.

She sighed. Why was this entire thing so complicated?

-----------------------

"Hi Richard, do you have a moment?" Addison asked the next day, catching the Chief before he walked into his office.

"Sure. Come on in," he said, chivalrously holding the door open for her.

She sat uncomfortably in one of the chairs facing his desk. "How are you doing?" she asked to break the ice.

"I'm fine. How are you? Is there something I can help you with?"

"Yes. I mean no. Well, I don't have anything for you to help me with, anyways. I just-"

"You're nervous about something, you're babbling. Why don't you just tell me whatever it is you need to tell me?"

"I'm engaged."

"Congratulations!"

"I'm not done. I'm engaged… to Alex Karev," she continued. A brief look of what could almost be described as horror crossed the Chief's face. Then a flash of almost anger. Then it settled on a neutral mask.

"Are you happy?"

"The happiest I've been in a long time."

"Well, I don't usually encourage attending/intern relationships," Addison imperceptibly rolled her eyes, something she was very good at; she knew there was going to be something about that, "But if you're happy and you're serious…"

"No, Richard, I'm just engaged for a laugh. It's all a big joke; I'm not actually serious about getting married. So sorry if I gave you any other impression," she butted in sarcastically.

"_**IF**_," he talked over her, "it doesn't interfere with your patients, then I suppose it's all right. Congratulations. My best wishes," he dismissed her.

"Thank you," she answered, standing up and leaning over his desk to give him a daughterly peck on the cheek, then walking out.

One down, one to go.

----------------------

She cleared her throat to get his attention. "Addi, hi," he said, surprised at her presence.

"Derek. Can we talk?" she asked quietly.

He looked over at Meredith who was standing there quietly. She nodded. "Sure."

"Alone? Not that I don't totally love your new girlfriend and want to talk to her, but I just need to talk to you. Alone. No offense Meredith."

"Not a problem," Meredith answered, "Enjoy your chat," she said amiably and walked away.

"So, what's up? I'd like to avoid your rambling, so why don't you just flat out say it."

"I'm engaged. To Karev."

"That's great!" he exclaimed, maybe a tad overenthusiastic.

"Thanks."

"That's so… great!" he exclaimed again.

"You hate it," Addison stated flatly.

"It's just… I…"

"It's okay. I get it. I feel the same way about you; I want you happy, but it still hurts sometimes that I'm not the one making you happy. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think Meredith is terrific and I can see that you're so much happier than when we were married, but still. It hurts sometimes."

"Exactly. Hey Addi?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry that I was such an ass when we were married."

"It's okay."

"I wish things had worked out between us."

"I don't," she said. Derek winced, "I mean, I'm sorry that they didn't, but I found Alex and you found Meredith because things didn't work out and I think that that's how it was meant to go. I'm sorry I slept with your best friend."

Derek laughed. "You're right, but I'd forgotten how blunt you can be. I missed it. I missed you."

"Don't think of it as blunt; think of it as brutally honest and straightforward. I missed you too. But we don't have to be strangers who hate each other. We can be friends, can't we?"

"It seems strange, don't you think? I mean, usually divorced people aren't friends."

"So? We're Derek and Addison; we can make it through anything. Including a divorce."

Derek laughed at the mention of their previously indestructible couple mantra, 'We're Derek and Addison; we can make it through anything'. How many times had he heard that? The last time was the worst night ever, the night he had found Addison and Mark in bed together and his life had come crashing down around him. The fact that he was able to laugh at those same words, coming from the same lips that had uttered them that night, was a huge deal. "Alright. Friends?"

"Friends," she affirmed, awkwardly holding out her hand for him to shake. He grabbed it and pulled her into a tentative hug. She laughed at the strangeness of the situation and hugged him back.

They were going to be okay. Everything would be alright.

* * *

**i really have nothing to say, except that i'll see y'all later when we take over shondaland! reviews please!**


	14. Going All Spacey

**a/n: yay! there's even more! can i just say that i really have no clue where i'm going with this story, it kind of writes itself. so don't hate me and any ideas are very very welcome. _except_, my dear, sweet cousin Molly, any little more kidnapping ideas. luv ya!**

**thanks for all your reviews! you make me smile and then i write more!**

**disclaimer: just waiting for a plan, but once we take over shondaland, then i will definately co-own grey's with all of you. as of now, they're all shonda's. except holli.**

* * *

"You know, Adds, Mark did actually have a point; when _is _the wedding?" Holli asked as the two drove home that night.

"I- I have no idea," she sighed as they stopped at a red light. She lightly hit her head against the wheel.

"Keep that up and you're going to have a big nasty bruise on your forehead on your wedding day. Not that we know when that is. We know the flowers, the cake, and the music but we don't know the date. Brilliant, Addison, just brilliant."

"I'm sorry. I've been busy and so has Alex. It's difficult. You'll understand when you're the one organizing a wedding."

"I practically am," Holli pointed out.

"I mean your wedding," Addison said exasperated.

"I know," Holli replied with a smirk.

"Smartass."

"We have a lot of conversations to this effect, have you ever noticed that? You say something, I say something snarky back, and then you call me a smartass."

"Okay," Addison dragged out the word, giving Holli a look that clearly said she thought Holli was crazy, "That was random."

"I say whatever comes to my mind; you should know this by now. Hey, did you know that Sloane and Izzie are sleeping together?" she said randomly, turning in her seat to get a better look at Addison.

"Really?" Addison kept her eyes on the road and tried her best to sound uninterested, but to no avail.

"Yeah, they have been for like a month now. Which is really kind of sad, cuz I like Izzie, but, whatever, not my point. Izzie told George who told Meredith, who told McDreamy, I mean Derek," she corrected herself when she found herself the subject of her first McSatan glare in a really long time, "And also Christina, and neither of them told anyone, but Olivia overheard and told Dolores, you know, the NICU nurse with that unfortunate birthmark on her face? Yeah, her, and she told me," Holli finished proudly.

"Wow."

"I know right? Who would've thought? I mean, she seemed like the only person ever to able to resist him and yet now they're sleeping together. I wonder if they're actually in a relationship or if it's just no stings attached. Probably the second one, because Izzie's smart and knows that he'll end up cheating. It's not like he won't, I mean, it _is_ Mark Sloane we're talking about here."

"Holli?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you come with an off button?" Addison grinned to show she was joking. Well, for the most part anyways.

"No. Usually you'd love this sort of gossip. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Addison stated unconvincingly, "Nothing."

"There so is something wrong. I thought we agreed that we wouldn't do the whole 'block each other out' thing, it never goes well."

"I'm not blocking you out."

"Yes you are. Something's bugging you and you're not telling me what it is."

"It's just… it's nothing," Addison shook her head as if that would help clear her thoughts.

"What?"

"It's just that… Izzie told Alex that she loves him today."

"Excuse me?"

"I know."

"But… but…" Holli looked confused.

"I know."

"I am so confused right now."

"You and me both."

"So she's sleeping with Mark and then tells Alex she loves him? What the hell? And why would she tell him? She knows he's engaged. It's not as if he's going to realize his mistake and come back to her! He has you and he loves you and… what did he tell her?"

"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What?"

"What. Did. He. Tell. Her?" Holli repeated, pausing between each word to make sure she was understandable.

"That he loves me," Addison replied smugly.

"Have I mentioned that if you two break up, I want him?"

"Uh, no. And we're not breaking up, so don't even think about it."

"You have competition now, Izzie and me. I think that you'd better watch out."

"And I think that you'd better drop it now before I hurt you."

"Ooh, she gets mean at the mention of a break up, folks!" Holli commented in a sports-announcer voice. Dropping the voice she said, "That's probably a good thing."

"Uh-huh," Addison said, barely paying attention to anything Holli was saying.

Holli noticed this, and after waving her arms around in that way that is somehow supposed to get people's attention, improvised, "So I'm pregnant and I'm going to elope with Jason, who is not my baby's dad, that's Evan, but he's an asshole who's gotten three other girls pregnant and left them, so I'm going to marry Jason, who I don't really love, but I like him enough I suppose."

"Oh, that's nice," Addison replied as if in a trance, completely proving Holli's theory.

"So I know you're not paying attention and all, but please don't crash."

"Okay."

-------------------

"Addison's going all spacey on me," Holli sighed as she sat down on the couch next to Alex who was watching TV while Addison showered.

"Really?"

"You're so not paying attention."

"Nope, not really."

"Pay attention," Holli said as she grabbed the remote from an unsuspecting Alex and turned the TV off.

"Hey! I was watching that!"

"Very good, Captain Obvious, you were, but now you are not and you are paying attention and having a conversation with me."

"Fine," Alex sulked.

"What are you, five?"

"No."

"That's what I thought."

"What do you want?" Alex asked, annoyed.

"For you to pay attention."

"Leave me alone. What do you want to talk to me about?"

"Has Addi been normal lately?"

"Um, yeah, I think so. Why?"

"She was spacing out on the ride home. It's not good for a surgeon to space out. In fact, it's very, very bad as you probably know."

"Yeah it is. Is there a point to this or can I turn the TV back on?"

"Addison doesn't space out."

"She's got a lot on her mind. It's normal."

"You're annoyingly difficult. Fine," she sighed, frustrated, "Turn the TV back on."

He obeyed and she walked out of the room. She grabbed her jacket and yelled, "I'm going for a walk."

-------------------

This walk was a usual thing for her. Any time she needed out, she'd walk. She'd walk to nowhere in particular, but just let her feet carry her. The neighborhood was safe; it was practically suburbia for God's sake. Tonight she walked away from the safest part of the neighborhood towards one of the busy streets that framed it.

It was a clear night for once and she marveled at the amount of stars she could see. Even if there wasn't a lot, after New York, any star that didn't turn out to be the lights of an airplane was amazing.

Looking at the sky, she forgot to pay attention to the ground. There was a crack in the sidewalk and she tripped. She braced herself for the pain, but a hand shot out and stopped her fall. "Tha-" she began, but as she looked to her rescuer the words caught in her throat. She found herself staring into the coldest blue eyes she had ever seen. "What?" she asked coldly, annoyed and frightened.

"Well, hello to you too," a woman's familiarly malevolent voice that matched the eyes remarked sarcastically.

"Can I help you with something?" Holli questioned, narrowing her eyes.

"Yes. First you can thank me for saving you from a painful fall. And then you can come with me."

"If you think I'm going anywhere with you, then you must be crazier than everyone thinks. And there is no way in hell that I'm going to thank you for anything."

"Don't use that tone of voice with me, young lady," the woman warned, sounding angrier and angrier with each word.

"You can't tell me what to do anymore. You're not my mom."

"Maybe not legally. Biologically though? Still your mom. And you are going to listen to me and come with me."

"You've never been a mom. Ever," Holli spat. "You can't call yourself one," she got out before Marcie slapped her so hard she saw stars.

"I can and I will."

"I'm still not going anywhere with you, and if you think this is helping to convince me then you might want to go for a psych check," she gritted through the pain. This time Marcie punched her hard enough that the pain made her collapse.

"You are going to come with me. We can either leave now or I can continue."

"I'm not going anywhere," Holli said, struggling to stand up. Her mother pushed her back down on the pavement. This time, no one stopped her fall and she hit her head hard enough that everything went black.

* * *

**and there's the chapter. please don't ask me what's going to happen to holli, cuz i honestly don't know yet. but any ideas for her can be put in that review you know you want to write!**


	15. Kidnapping? Seriously?

**a/n: i know, i know, it's been FOREVER since i last updated. but the stupid story would just NOT write itself, which is how i write. i let everything write itself, and then i go over it and make it better. anyways, long story short, it wasn't working for me and my other fic was. anyways, i can't think of anything else, other than i'm gonna be wrapping it up pretty soon. don't worry, you'll get your wedding and all, but that's where i'm ending it.**

**disclaimer: i can sincerely say this is not mine.**

* * *

"Hey, where's Holli?" Addison asked later that night as she and Alex were watching television.

"She went for a walk about two hours ago."

"Should we be worried?" Addison bit her lip. "She should have been back by now. She never walks for more than an hour. And she's usually really good about coming home when it's dark…"

"Another fifteen minutes and then we'll look for her. Okay?" Alex comforted her. When she nodded he pulled her onto his lap. "It's going to be okay. I promise. Have I ever lied to you?" he asked the back of her neck.

She turned and looked at him disbelievingly, "Um, yes. Multiple times, in fact."

"Oh yeah? When? Give me one time."

"After we kissed at Joe's. When you told me you weren't interested," she retorted without a moment's hesitation.

"Fine. I'll give you that one, but you have to find me another example."

"You asked for one!"

"You said I lied multiple times. Give me another example."

"The second time. After the first time we slept together. When you said that I wasn't your girlfriend," she said without needing a moment to think.

"You weren't!"

"But you meant that you weren't interested, that you didn't want me. Lies, all of it," she declared with a smirk.

"Fine, but stop smirking, that's my thing."

"No."

"Don't make me make you," Alex warned and promptly began kissing her neck. She smiled slightly but didn't react otherwise. "You're distracted," Alex pointed out.

"I'm worried."

"Alright, get up. We're going to go look for her," he said, dumping Addison unceremoniously, but gently, onto the floor.

"Hey!" she shrieked as she hit the floor.

"Whoops. Sorry," he said, unconvincingly innocent, with a shrug.

"I hate you."

"No you don't. Now go put some shoes on. Sensible ones. Ones you can walk in and that don't make you five inches taller. You do have some of those, don't you?"

"Yes," Addison said defensively. "I'm just not exactly sure where they are…"

Another five minutes later, they were ready. She ended up with some flat flip-flops, the only shoes they could find without a heel. "I feel short," she pouted when she saw that Alex was actually quite a bit taller than her without her heels.

"You are short," he said with a grin, earning him a playful smack and a not exactly playful glare.

"Let's just go."

--------------------

Holli woke up cramped onto a hotel chair. _Well, at least Mom had the decency to stick me on a chair and not on the floor_, she thought. She tried to lift her head to get an idea where she was but the sharp pain that shot through her head was enough to convince her to do otherwise. She managed to turn her head enough to see the one king-sized bed that would have easily fit her and her evil mother and saw that her mother was still passed out. _I could run if I knew where we are. And if I could move, that would be helpful._

It took her a few attempts but eventually she managed to ease herself into a sitting position and from there she managed to stand. But it took so long that by the time she was standing and confident in her ability to walk her mother was up so she sat back down.

"Good morning," her mother said from the bed.

Holli sat in stony silence, staring straight ahead.

"Good morning," her mother repeated, forcefully this time.

"This is technically kidnapping. You can get arrested for it you know."

"I'm your mother, I can't kidnap you."

"You are legally not my mother and you've taken me somewhere against my will; it's kidnapping. Not to mention you _attacked_ me last night and I've probably got a concussion, judging by the ginormous headache I have."

"I did not attack you. Stop being so melodramatic."

"You started hitting me unprovoked. That would be attacking me. Why did you in the first place? What possessed to you to kidnap me? Kidnapping? Seriously?"

"I want my daughter back," Marcie stated, almost, for a just moment, sounding human.

"You can't have her back. She doesn't want to come back."

"That's just too bad, since I seem to have the upper hand," Marcie slipped back into the annoying, abusive mother role.

"You can't keep me here."

"I'm not keeping you here. I've got two tickets to New York and we are going to be on that plane."

"School starts in three weeks! Remember? I go to school out here."

"I've already enrolled you in your previous school."

"Whatever," Holli said, a plan already formulating in her head. If she could just figure out where they were she could run. She could probably outrun her mother, even in her condition, but that would depend on how far she had to run and whether or not the pounding in her head would stop. The curtains were drawn so she couldn't tell where she was. Hopefully the hotel would give her a clue. The bedroom was pretty generic with no labels so she walked to the bathroom hoping there would be some clue. Thankfully there was, in the form of coffee mugs imprinted with a giant cursive L and the words 'Lattimer Hotel' written beneath it. She wracked her brain trying to get the location of the hotel. It was across town from Addison's house, near her old hotel and pretty close to the airport. She might be able to make it, if she didn't pass out from pain.

"The plane doesn't leave for another four hours," Marcie told Holli.

She wouldn't escape. Yet.

------------------------

"So, not to be a totally insensitive ass, but we really do need to set a date," Alex said, turning over and sitting up to get a good look at his fiancée. He and Addison had been out searching all night, stumbled back into the house at around three in the morning and promptly passed out in their bed.

"I don't want to make that decision without Holli. And I have a question."

"Okay… what is it?"

"Can I have two maids of honor? I mean, I know it's unconventional and I know that people will probably question my sanity, but I don't know. I can't pick. Callie or Holli. Holli or Callie. It's tough. And both of them will kick my ass if I don't choose them. And they both kind of scare me and I think that both of them could kick my ass if they so chose to do so and…"

"Adds, you're rambling."

"I know that and I know that I really need to shut up, but…"

"Addison, you can have two maids of honor if it makes you happy. You can go bungee jump off the hospital if it makes you happy. You can do anything you want if it makes you happy. I only ask that you don't cheat on me and you don't kill yourself in the process. And I wouldn't let them kick your ass."

"Sometime in September? I like September."

"September? If it makes you happy, then September it is."

"Are you going to agree to all the decisions about this wedding because they make me happy?"

"Yes, is it so horrible that I want my fiancée happy?"

"Even if I decided to wear an orange and purple argyle dress?"

"You wouldn't, you hate the color orange. Not to mention the fact that you have mentioned several times that argyle is Satan's pattern. And not in a good way. I also remember something about you threatening to bring back whoever invented argyle from the dead just so that you could kill him yourself."

"You remember that? You were actually listening to my rant about argyle?"

"I listen to everything you say."

Tears sprung to Addison's eyes. It had been so long since someone listened to her and actually paid attention. The last person was Mark, before the incident, and even then he only paid attention when she made him. These were the things that reminded her just why she was venturing back into the land of the married after the train wreck that was the last couple years of her first attempt. She sat down on his lap. "I love you," she said, kissing him after her announcement. A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.

"I love you too," he responded before noticing the tear, "Hey, don't cry. What are you crying about?"

"It's nothing, ignore me."

"No. What's up?"

"I don't… It's just…. Just ignore me."

"No. You need to talk to me if we're going to be married."

Addison sighed heavily, "You're right, I know you're right. I'm just worried about Holli and so I'm already a wreck and then you go and you say all these perfect things and pay attention to me and it's not a bad thing or anything. In fact, I love it. I love you. I'm just a wreck right now with the wedding and Holli and everything. And it's just that for the last years of my marriage I was shoved aside and ignored and it hurt and when you say all these perfect things and pay attention to me it just makes me so happy that I want to cry. Well, that and I'm probably totally PMS-ing and I'm slightly crazy at the moment."

"You're always slightly crazy."

"Not nice."

"So? Get dressed; we have to go to work."

Addison obeyed reluctantly, showering and getting dressed, expecting Alex to be gone when she was done, as he usually was but which he wasn't. "What are you still doing here?" she asked, confused.

"Everyone knows about us, there's no reason for us to not show up in the same car." He shrugged, "Is it so wrong that I want to show off that I have the hottest fiancée ever?"

She laughed, something that felt good under all this stress, "No, I suppose not. Come on, let's go. But I'm driving."

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**reviews now that i updated for you?**

**-Lauren**


	16. Chillax

**a/n: hey peeps, sorry this took for like ever to get up, but i hit some writers block and then things just went all screwy and anyways, it's here now so just be happy. there's only going to be like two or three more chapters and then this is going to be done. aw, that's kind of sad... but it's time, i can tell.**

**disclaimer: i don't own anyone, because that is slavery and it is illegal in the US.**

* * *

Alex could tell that Addison was trying her best to act normal, but he could see that Holli's disappearance was taking a toll on her. She was doing her best to appear like she was a happy soon to be bride, but he could see through it. He knew her better than he knew himself sometimes.

They were eating lunch together when Izzie came and plopped herself down into a chair at their table. Addison looked at her, confused. "I officially hate you," Izzie informed Alex. "Not only did you not tell me that you were dating her until you were engaged, but you stuck me with Sloane. I officially hate you."

She was making an effort to act normal, like she hadn't completely embarrassed herself the day before. Addison appreciated that, it was terrible to be in love with someone and not have them love you back and yet Izzie was making the effort to stay friends with Alex. She smiled at Izzie, "I need an intern for a c-section for later today, you want in?"

"Absolutely!" Izzie said. Then she turned her attention to Alex. "Well, aren't you going to kiss your fiancée or anything?"

"Izzie-"

"No. Kiss her, Alex. Please? I just- I need closure, okay? It's not like I'm asking you to do something horrible. I'm asking you to kiss the love of your life, why are you questioning me?"

That was a very good question. Why was he not kissing his fiancée? They were officially out in the open, they could do such things. So he leaned over and kissed her softly. She smiled, but it was a sad smile, one that didn't reach her eyes. Her eyes filled up with tears but she kept her composure.

Izzie looked around. "Where's Holli?"

Addison let out a cry and ran from the cafeteria. "Nice job, Izzie. Real nice," Alex spat as he got up to run after her.

Izzie felt all eyes on her, being the last person on the scene, "What?" she asked everyone. They immediately turned back to their lunches.

----------------------------

Alex found Addison in a supply closet, sitting on an overturned bucket and sobbing. He knelt down beside her. "You need to go home."

She looked up at that. "I- I can't go home," she sniffed. "P-people need me."

"People don't need you like this. People can wait."

"But… but…"

"Go _home _Addison."

It was the first time he had ever really, seriously ordered her around and she looked at him, shocked. But it seemed to work and she agreed to head home. He walked her to the Chief's office to make her excuses and stood outside the door, waiting for her. She walked out and told him that Richard had told him to go home too, so they walked out of the hospital, him with an arm around her waist and her leaning into him, with everyone watching them.

--------------------------------

Holli spent the morning listening to her mother drivel on about New York and how everyone would be so glad that she had her daughter back. It was giving her a headache, well, making her headache worse. On the plus side, though, was the fact that because her mother was blabbering on, she required no responses, allowing Holli time to form a plan. It wasn't a complicated plan by any means. It consisted of getting out of the room, the hotel, and then running. And once she had sufficiently lost her mother she would either ask someone to borrow their cell phone or for some spare change for a pay phone, probably option number two. And once she got a phone she would call Addison's cell and get her to come pick her up. Not exactly rocket science.

After two hours, Marcie finally announced that it was time to go. Holli grabbed one of the suitcases, knowing it made her look like she had submitted. She was quiet and sullen the entire elevator ride and out the door, but the second they hit the streets she dropped the suitcase and started sprinting, concentrating on the street ahead of her rather than the pounding in her head or her mother yelling and attempting to chase after her in heels. After the first mile she hit her stride and the adrenaline made the pounding in her head stop for now. She earned herself some stares, but looking normal wasn't exactly her top priority at that moment.

She burst into a Denny's, looking sweaty and disheveled, making everyone look at her strangely. "Do you have a pay phone?" she asked the hostess. The hostess nodded towards the hallway that held the bathrooms. "Do you happen to have change for the phone?" Holli asked awkwardly, "It's kind of an emergency."

The hostess, who had apparently lost all ability to speak, looked at her like she was crazy and shook her head. Fortunately a kind older woman took pity on her and handed her the change she needed. She went down the hall and dialed Addison's number.

"Hello?" Addison's voice sounded raw, like she had been crying.

"Addi?" Holli whispered. "Can you come get me?"

"Holli! Oh my God, I was so worried and Alex and I were out all night looking for you and thank God you're okay. Where are you?"

"You know that Denny's by the airport?"

"I'll be there in ten minutes, don't move."

Ten minutes later Addison was bursting through the doors of the restaurant. Holli ran over and flung her arms around her neck and burst out sobbing. She started talking incoherently about something. All Addison understood were the words 'Mom' and 'kidnap' but she got the general idea.

"Your mom kidnapped you?" Holli nodded. "That's it, I'm calling the police."

Holli did nothing to stop her but merely requested that she call from home. The ride home was filled with anxious questions making sure she was alright. Holli assured Addison that she was fine, except she might have a concussion. They were stopped at a light when Addison suddenly turned to her. "How do you feel about September?"

"Um, September? It's, um, kind of the start of school. So it's kind of all new, I guess. And it's the start of fall too. I guess I like it. Why are we talking about September?"

"Because I think that's when the wedding's going to be."

"Ooh, can you have it on a school day so I can get out of school? Have it on a Friday! Three day weekend!"

"Um, I'll see what I can do," Addison laughed. "Have I mentioned how happy I am that you're safe?"

"Several times, in fact." They pulled into the driveway of the house. Holli sprinted out of the car when she saw that Alex was sitting on the porch looking anxious. "Alex!" she screeched before throwing herself into his arms. She looked up at the two adults who had been so worried about her. "God, my head hurts," she announced.

"We need to get her to the hospital, make sure she's okay," Addison told Alex.

"What happened?" he asked, noting the bruises on her face.

"Her mother-"

"My _ex_-mother," Holli interrupted as they returned to Addison's car.

"Her _ex_-mother," Addison repeated, "kidnapped her. And _that_ is why I'm calling the police and you are driving," she explained as she pulled out her cell phone.

------------------------

After an extensive check out by Derek, it was determined that Holli had a small concussion, but nothing to worry about. Addison came in after getting off the phone with the police, who had assured her that they would catch Marcie. She anxiously asked about all the results of Holli's tests, which annoyed Holli to no end.

"Hey, Addi?" Holli said from the bed where she was sitting.

"Uh-huh?" Addison was pacing and biting the nail on her pointer finger, a bad nervous habit that she really needed to stop.

"You're hovering. Stop hovering. You're annoying me. And while you're at it, stop pacing, for God's sake, you're going to wear through the floor."

"I'm sorry, it's just, I don't know, I worry about you."

"I know you do, sweetie, and it's really sweet of you, but you've got to chillax. Just sit back and relax. I'm fine, you know I'm fine, I know I'm fine, Derek knows I'm fine, everyone knows I'm fine. Chillax."

"You're the one with the black eye and concussion. You're not supposed to be the calm one, you're supposed to be the one who's freaking out. I'm supposed to be the calm one." Addison pointed out.

"Well, if you're going to freak out, at least start freaking out about something worthwhile, like, I don't know, maybe your _wedding_?"

"I so don't even want to think about that right now. Because if I do, then I will probably have a panic attack and I really can't have a panic attack right now."

"You're already having a panic attack. Deep breaths, Addison, deep breaths. Chill."

"I really can't chill right now, okay, Holli?"

Holli got up and opened the door to the hallway where Alex was waiting. "Get in here and calm down your fiancée, she's going insane," she ordered. Alex nodded and walked into the room. He didn't say anything, just pulled her into a hug and stroked her hair. She closed her eyes and she calmed down, he had that effect on her.

"Addi, calm down. It's okay. Holli's home safe and the police are looking for Marcie and almost everything is ready for the wedding. There's nothing to worry about."

"I know. You're right. You're right." She took a deep breath. "God, what would I do without you?"

"Freak out over everything?"

"Probably," she laughed. "I love you."

"I love you too. Are you okay now?"

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine. Fine."

"You don't sound fine."

"Give me a moment and I will be."

"You guys are cute," Holli commented from the door where she had been standing the entire time.

They both looked over, startled. "We should get her home," Addison said. She walked over to Holli and threw an arm around her shoulders. "Let's go home."

Holli looked at Alex expectantly. He took his cue and walked over and laced his fingers through Addison's. She smiled at him. He kissed her and said, "Sure."

"Onward and outward!" Holli exclaimed, pointing out the door. They walked out of the hospital, Addison with an arm around Holli and hand in hand with Alex, and as they did, she realized something.

She had a family again.

* * *

**that was far too sappy an ending for my taste, but whatever, i couldn't come up with a better way to end it, which makes me kind of sad. oh well...**

**-Lauren**


	17. Hyphenated Joy

**a/n: here it is! -triumphant music- this kind of just flew out of my fingers, so i really have no clue what i wrote. i like it. but i have decided that it's sappy and too perfect. but too bad, because if anyone deserves a happy ending it's alex and addison. this is the last chapter but i could probably be persuaded to write an epilogue...**

**disclaimer: -sob- not mine.**

* * *

The date was set, September 10, the flowers were chosen, and she had her dress. Almost everything was ready. There was just the small matter of a couple of invitations. Derek. Mark. Izzie. Meredith. Did she want them at her wedding? Did she even have a choice? Derek and her were kind of sort of friends, in that weird, we're only doing this because we're too sick of fighting, way. And if she invited him, then she obviously would have to deal with Meredith. Actually, even if she didn't invite him, she'd probably have to deal with Meredith because Alex was friends with Meredith and she and Meredith were… friends was the wrong word for it, but they had come to an understanding. And now they were going to have to be friends by proxy. Again. Funny how that was the only way they were ever friends. Friends by proxy. Friends because of a guy. Maybe with time they could be just friends. Maybe.

And Mark, well, she didn't want Mark there. Not really. Kind of. In that horrible, self-destructive way she wanted him there, if only to rub it in his face that they were really, truly over. Did that make her a terrible person? And Izzie, what to do about Izzie?

Izzie would be invited, she decided. She could come if she wanted to, but Addison was going to give her that option. Derek and Meredith could come too. And Mark would figure out a way to be there whether or not he was invited, so she may as well just invite him and be prepared.

Addison sighed and addressed the four invitations and set them in the growing pile. Well, it was official. She had invited her ex-husband and his girlfriend, her ex-affair and the woman he was currently sleeping with, who just so happened to claim to be in love with her fiancé, to her wedding. She laughed. Could nothing in her life be normal?

---------------------

A week later she got the call, the police had caught Marcie in New York. The trial was set for two months from now, in October. Perfect.

------------------------

The weeks leading up to the wedding flew by. The entire hospital was gossiping about the upcoming nuptials. Addison and Alex managed to stay professional at work, for the most part anyways. There were moments when they seemed to oblivious to the rest of the world, sending each other smiles that were obviously only for the other, or arguing loudly in the hallway. They would never be the perfect couple, not like Derek-and-Addison. They would never finish each others' sentences or go a day without some little argument. They were stubborn and probably way too much alike. But they were Alex-and-Addison and they loved each other and that was enough. Alex realized it felt good to be part of a hyphenated couple and Addison realized just how much she had missed it. They both reveled in the hyphenated joy.

September tenth arrived with much trumpeting on Holli's part. Alex was shooed out of the house before Addison was allowed out of her room and Callie arrived at nine. She and Holli were sharing the maid of honor responsibilities rather well, rarely butting heads or having any sorts of trouble.

All the preparations went through without a hitch. Everything went well. _Just as well_, Holli thought, _Addi deserves this_.

Addison was surprisingly calm, although internally she was having a minor freak out. She sat quietly in her chair and allowed her hair and make up to be done. "I'm doing the right thing, right?" she asked her friends.

"Definitely," Holli affirmed.

"Lines of deliciousness," Callie added.

"Lines of deliciousness are not reason enough to get married," Addison pointed out. Holli looked confused but stayed quiet.

"Although they are a pretty damn good one," Callie continued. "I'm kidding. You love him, he loves you, it's the right thing. Cheer up! You're getting married!"

"I'm getting married," Addison repeated, wide-eyed.

-----------------------

She made it up the isle, so far so good. She noticed Holli and Callie and Savvy and Miranda all looked so great in their dresses. She definitely noticed how good Alex looked in a tux, especially with poor awkward looking George standing with him. She almost laughed at the fact that George was Alex's best man. Almost, but not quite.

The church was beautiful and everything was perfect. Her dress, Vera Wang, was perfect, sleek and chic and so better suited to her than the puffy monstrosity that was her first gown. This gown was white silk and felt delicately to the floor, hugging her in all the right places. Silver beading on the bodice lent some sparkle to the dress. She wore nothing on her head, no veil and certainly no tiara. Just her fiery red hair, held half back and out of her eyes with a simple silver clip.

Alex couldn't keep his eyes off of her. He just wanted to shout to the world that she had chosen _him_, that was _his_ fiancée, _his _soon to be wife.

They smiled at each other, no hesitation in either's eyes. They didn't break eye contact for the entire ceremony until it was time for the rings and the vows. Both had chosen to write their own vows. Addison had had hers memorized for about a month now. She cleared her throat and began.

"Alex, I can't promise that I'll be the perfect wife. I can't promise that we won't fight or that I won't make you angry. I can't promise that I won't screw up. I hope I don't, but I can't promise any of that. I _can_, however, promise to love you. I can promise to try. I promise that if I do screw up, that I will do everything I can to fix it. I know that I will probably screw up at one point and I hope the fact that I love you will be enough of a reason to give me another chance. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you let me. I vow that if you do, I will love you with my whole heart for the rest of my life. I promise to take care of you and to love you forever." She took a deep breath and smiled. Then, as almost an afterthought, she added, "And I promise that I won't sleep with anyone else, especially your best friend." She flashed him a wry smile and the congregation laughed appreciatively, if a little awkwardly.

Alex laughed along and then started with his vows. "Addison, I'm terrible with words, which you know, so this is short and probably totally terrible. I'm not sure of a lot of things, but I am sure that I love you. You mean everything to me and it means everything to me that you are happy. I promise to try to keep you happy. I promise to love you and to give you the attention that someone as incredible as you deserves." He shot Derek a glance, but quickly returned his focus to Addison. "I promise to be there for you, always, no matter when or where. I will always be there and remember you. I love you, and that scares the hell out of me, but what scares me even more is the thought of you not being around. So I promise to cherish you and honor you and take care of you and everything. But mostly I promise to love you. Forever."

The ring bearer gave them the rings and the minister pronounced them husband and wife and told Alex to kiss the bride. And he did, sweetly and passionately.

They walked out of the church hand in hand to the limo and their reception. Neither could keep grins off their face or stop touching each other. They were _married_.

They walked into the hall laughing with Holli and Callie and George. Richard came up and hugged Addison and then awkwardly shook Alex's hand, using the time to shoot Alex a look that very clearly stated that if he hurt her, he would personally see to it that his life was a living hell. Then he smiled and welcomed Alex to the family.

"We have a screwed up family," Addison explained. "Chief and Adele and me and Derek and Meredith, I guess, and Holli, and Callie and George, I suppose, and now you. We're messed up, but we're family."

"Hey, um, congratulations," Meredith said as she walked up.

Addison beamed. "Thanks." She held out her hand for Meredith to shake. "No hard feelings?"

"Wouldn't you be the one with hard feelings? I mean I did kind of take your husband and all."

"_Ex_-husband," Alex interceded.

"Right, ex-husband," Meredith repeated. "Anyways, sorry about that." She took Addison's hand.

"No problem."

"Um, so this is really strange. Don't you think this is strange? Anyways, I'm gonna go now," Meredith laughed as stood there uncomfortably. "Congratulations again."

Derek shuffled up after his girlfriend. "Congrats, Addi," he smiled as he hugged her. Alex looked slightly murderous so he backed off and offered Alex a hand. "Take care of her."

"I will," Alex said as he took his hand. They did that whole compare hand strength thing that guys sometimes do and Derek walked off. Alex wrapped a protective arm around her waist.

"Relax," Addison laughed. "I'm your wife now, no worries. Mrs. Karev. Mrs. Montgomery-Karev. Which one?"

"Don't change your name. You don't want to be a straight Karev. Plus Addison Karev sounds strange. You could hyphenate. I like the hyphen, it's sexy. Although a mouthful. Addison Forbes Montgomery-Karev."

"It has a nice ring to it."

"You sound like a snob. But I like it."

"I like it too," she agreed, grinned impishly and kissed him.

Izzie approached them, rather self-consciously. She smiled. "You guys are really cute. Congratulations."

"Thanks, Iz."

"Um, can I talk to you for a second, Alex?" She looked at Addison. "Don't worry, I'll have him back in like five minutes. Swear."

Alex looked at Addison who nodded with a smile. "I'll be right back," he told her with a kiss. He and Izzie walked away. "So what's up?"

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for making things all complicated for you and her. I didn't mean to. The funny thing is that I think I was just being stupid," Izzie laughed nervously. "I mean, I meant it when I said it but then I kept thinking and I realized that I was just being stupid and that I don't know. I don't think I'm over Denny and then you and me, we were kind of over before we started, you know? And I felt bad that we'd never had that chance and then you and her and I got jealous I guess, and I just wanted to say something, to give us that chance. But we never really had a chance. And I'm okay with that. Okay, I'm done now. You can go back to your wife. Oh my God, Alex, you're married!"

"Iz, it's okay, all of it. We're just meant to be friends. Because you are my friend. And, yeah, I am married."

"You're married! I'm like the last single one of our group. Shit, that sucks."

"Cheer up, Iz, you'll find someone."

"I know," Izzie retorted, her confidence quickly returning. They walked back to where Addison and Holli were laughing.

"Everything okay?" Addison asked as he took his place next to her, wrapping an arm around her waist again.

"It's great," he assured her.

"I am so happy for you guys!" Holli squealed. "Okay, toast time!" she announced as she noticed that everyone had drinks. She stood on a chair, rather a comical thing to watch as she was wearing her pink silk bridesmaid dress still. "Okay, so hi, everyone!" she chirped when she had everyone's attention. "Um, I'm Holli, but y'all kind of knew that, so whatever. I'm one of the two maids of honor because Addison's indecisive and scared of Callie and me, and since I'm too young for the bachelorette party, I get the joy of the toast. So, um, anyways, I'm really not great at this whole speech thing, but I can try, right?" Everyone chuckled and when she had their attention again, she said, "Addison and Alex are probably my two most favorite people in the whole world, no offense everyone else. They've both been there for me through some seriously, seriously screwy times. You know, my abusive mom, attempted suicide, kidnapping, things like that. God, I'm a one woman soap opera. Anyways, this is about them, not me. They're my family. They're both incredible people and totally deserve each other and I'm proud to say that I had a part in them finding each other and not being totally stupid." She directed her attention to the couple. "I'm sorry, but you were being stupid. They were being stupid," she informed the crowd. "Ava and me, we put them together, and I'm so glad we did. Because you guys are made for each other. You guys give me hope that I can have that sort of love someday, when I'm old enough, of course. So here's to Addison and Alex. I love you, stay happy, and I wish you the absolute best! Cheers!"

"Cheers!" everyone said, raising their glasses toward the couple.

Then it was time for their first dance as husband and wife. The band struck up "Only Hope" by Mandy Moore, which was a little girly for Alex, but it made Addison happy and that was all that mattered. It wasn't conventional, but when had they ever been conventional? Besides, the song didn't matter, all that mattered was that she was in his arms with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes. He leaned in and kissed her and they didn't draw back until air was an issue and the song was drawing to a close. They invited the rest of the group out on the floor with them. Addison looked around contentedly. Callie and George were sitting and laughing. Meredith and Derek were dancing nearby. Mark was chatting up some poor waitress. Izzie was talking and flirting with one of Alex's college buddies, one of the ones who didn't look like they had just stepped out of a frat house. Martin, or maybe Michael? She didn't really know. The Chief was dancing with his wife as was Bailey with her husband. Holli was talking to one of Alex's friends little brother, who appeared to be a year older than her. A wave of protectiveness washed over Addison, and she had to remind herself that she wasn't Holli's mother and to just enjoy dancing with her husband.

A little later they took a break and Mark walked over. "Congratulations," he said, giving Addison a peck on the cheek. He gave her a hug, his hands wandering perilously close to her ass. Alex looked ready to shoot someone.

She pulled back and gave Mark a warning look. "Don't make me sic my husband on you. I would totally do it." She sat down in Alex's lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she leaned back into his embrace.

Holli, who had seen the whole thing, smiled and strolled over. "She so would, too. And Alex would kick your ass. He's got the whole wrestler thing going for him. Plus, there's the whole rage because you're touching his wife thing. I wouldn't try it," Holli counseled.

Mark muttered something and stalked off to get drunk and pick up some chick. Alex looked a little stricken. "Oh my God, I'm married," he muttered.

Addison turned and looked at him worriedly. "Yeah, regretting it?" she asked, half jokingly, half nervously, because what if he really _was_ regretting it? Because that would be the worst thing ever, and she really couldn't deal with that.

He took one look at her practically glowing face, which at the moment was wracked with uncertainty, and immediately knew his answer, "Never," he stated and kissed her.

Christina walked by and slapped the back of his head. "Get a room," she ordered when he looked up to see who had slapped him. "I know you're married, but seriously. Oh, and congratulations. You guys are… um, cute," she said and walked back to Burke with a pained look on her face. He had obviously put her up to it, but Addison and Alex were too caught up in each other to notice.

The party went off completely smoothly. The cake was cut and Alex fed Addison her cake nicely. Addison, who couldn't get the grin off her face, decided to shove her cake in Alex's face. He moved to shove some in her face, but she ducked and he managed to get Callie in the face instead. Callie, however, had some restraint and didn't do anything but good-naturedly use her finger to lick some of the cake off her face, declared it delicious, and avoided a food fight.

Addison threw her bouquet and Meredith caught it, but quickly dropped it with an apologetic glance at Derek, looking like she had been electrocuted. Addison laughed. "Come on, Mer, married life's not bad!" she called across the room.

"So not ready for that," Meredith mumbled. "Sorry, Derek."

"No problem," he said and kissed her. His pager went off and he checked it. Then he and Meredith left, apologizing profusely, but this was the way things went when you were a surgeon.

Later, Addison and Alex were sitting at their table watching everyone. "It looks like Izzie's getting along with… Michael?" Addison commented.

Alex looked over and laughed. "Martin," he corrected. "Good."

"Good," Addison repeated.

"You look beautiful," Alex told her.

"Aw, thanks. You clean up pretty nicely yourself."

"I'm married to the hottest chick in the room."

"You are," Addison agreed, playing with her two _new_ rings. She looked down at her rings and then looked back up. "Mrs. Montgomery-Karev," she said with a smile.

"_Dr._ Montgomery-Karev," he corrected her, reaching up to push a strand of hair out of her face.

Callie waltzed up and whispered in Addison's ear, "Lines of deliciousness."

"Lines of deliciousness," Addison nodded. "But you can't have him, he's mine. It would break the whole friend code thing. You know, 'thou shalt not go after your friend's husband'."

"Welcome to the land of the married," Callie announced.

"I've been here before."

"Very observant, you have, but _he_ hasn't," she stuck her thumb towards Alex. "We should get together and do fun married things. After the honeymoon, of course. Where are you going?"

"We're not. Can't. The hospital needs us," Addison explained.

"Besides," Alex interjected. "We can honeymoon quite well at home."

"Ew," Callie stated. "So Holli's staying with George and me tonight, right?"

"Right," Addison confirmed.

"Okay then. We're probably gonna go now. I will see you tomorrow. You guys should go home and not get some sleep. Just don't come to work looking like hell. Miranda'll kill you if you if you interfere with her intern's performance."

"Probably," Addison agreed.

Alex stood and motioned for her to come with him. "Let's go home, Dr. Montgomery-Karev."

She stood and they walked out to the limo which had the obligatory ribbons and 'Just Married' signs scribbled all over it. "Home. Sounds nice, Karev. Let's go home."

* * *

**and there you have it, the happiness that is addex. Addison and Alex Karev. aww, how sweet! i know there wasn't a ton of holli in this or whatever, but really it would be very selfish of her to take up this chapter. she was relatively quiet while i was writing this, because she's a nice person and knows that the chapter was all about addex.**

**so i guess that this is the end, which is really kind of sad, because holli's fun to write, but i have seriously put her through enough and i'm all tapped out.**

**the end. unless people want an epilogue. which i would do. if enough people wanted it.**

**for the last time, reviews?**

**-Lauren**


	18. Family

**a/n: i was convinced. here's an epilogue, appropriately sappy. i like it. hope you do too.**

**disclaimer: as i have been telling you throughout this entire story, it's not mine**

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It wasn't a perfect marriage by any definition. They had different interests, different friends. They fought constantly. Doors were slammed and expletives were shouted. There were times when they questioned just why they had gotten married. Their fights were bitter and loud and always seemed like they were going to result in divorce papers being filed, but they never did. It was because they had rules. Fights at work couldn't be taken home and fights at home couldn't be taken to work. They could hang up or storm out of the house, but they had to be home at the end of the day. They weren't allowed to shut the other out. If something was bothering them, they said something. This nearly always led to another argument, but at the end of the day, it helped.

They were by no means perfect, but they were easily the most stable inter-hospital couple. Christina and Burke were married, but constantly butting heads in ways that resulted in alcohol and Christina staying at Meredith's. George and Callie were working through all their issues, but Izzie was making it rather hard because of her obvious dislike of Callie. She could honestly say she was trying to like her, but there was just _something_ about her that bugged Izzie. Izzie was still sort of dating Alex's friend Martin, but it was nothing really exclusive. Mark was sticking to his manwhore ways and had a new girl every week. And Meredith and Derek were Meredith and Derek. They fought with far more devastating consequences than Alex and Addison's fights. In the course of a year they had broken up at least twice, but they were together as of now.

Marcie was charged with kidnapping and assault and found guilty. She faced ten to twenty years in prison and everyone was quite happy about that. Holli returned to school and to her normal life with only a couple physical scars and some mental scars, but back to her regular, energetic, happy go lucky self. She spent her free time hanging around at Seattle Grace, using her naturally sunny disposition and infectious laughter to help patients and families feel more hopeful.

Addison leaned on the nurses station, staring off into space, toying with her rings and contemplating her life in general. She and Alex were nearing their first anniversary, to her amazement and utter happiness. They should do something to celebrate. But what?

"Dr. Montgomery-Karev?" One of the nurses interrupted her thoughts.

She shook the daze off. "Yes?"

"Dr. Karev is looking for you. He's in the NICU. It's the Franklin baby. She's crashing."

"Thanks," she said before practically running away. Lizzie Franklin was premature with seriously underdeveloped lungs. She ran into the NICU ready to work only to find that her husband had everything under control. She watched from the door as he got Lizzie's vitals to stabilize.

"Keep fighting, Lizzie. You've got to keep fighting for your mommy and daddy. You're doing great," she heard Alex whisper to the infant.

"Nice job," Addison congratulated him, causing him to turn around. "Guess you didn't need me after all."

"Guess not," he replied with a smirk. "But as long as you're here…" He walked over and kissed her. Really kissed her. She allowed him to, merely because she couldn't bring herself to pull away, but she eventually found the will to pull herself away.

"Alex, there are children watching," she chided him.

"So?"

"Not in front of the babies. The babies are watching."

"The babies are watching? Wow. If that's your main concern we can go somewhere more private… an on-call room?"

It took all her will power to refuse, but she was not doing the sex in the on call room thing today. She gulped. "No. Unlike some people, I actually have work to do. Do not think giving me that face is going to get you anywhere, Alex Karev."

"What face?"

"That stupid pouty face that you give me when you want something. No. Just no."

"I am not giving you that face."

"You are giving me that face."

"I am not, if I was, I would look like this," he contradicted her, giving her the face, the one he knew melted her.

"Not funny."

"I know." He turned her around and started massaging her back. Her eyes fluttered shut and she melted back into his touch. "Come on, Addi, you know you want to," he leaned forward to whisper in her ear.

"No… no. Alex, no. Stop," she whined.

"Why should I?"

"Because you're making it really, really hard for me to say no."

"Exactly," he said and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck.

She gasped. "No," she protested weakly. "No."

"There's no one around, we can easily sneak into an on call room…"

"No… Fine, just this once," she agreed because he was making her legs jelly and he was just too hard to resist and he was her husband and she was perfectly entitled to make love to her husband. "Did I mention that I hate you?"

"Not yet today."

"I hate you."

"And here I was thinking we were going to make it through a day without you saying that. And you don't mean that."

"I really, really hate you," she stated as she opened the door to an empty on-call room. As soon as the door was shut, she turned and kissed him passionately, completely negating her words.

Alex had his hand up her top and his shirt was off when the door opened. "Oh, jeez!" Izzie yelled, shielding her eyes. "Sorry! Sorry! I'm just gonna go now, okay, okay. Sorry!" she stuttered before slamming the door.

This was why Addison didn't do the on-call room sex thing. It was mortifying when you were caught. "I should go," she told Alex.

"Addie-"

"No, babies… they, um, they need saving," she protested as Alex started kissing her neck again. "Later, okay?"

She gave him another kiss, which he tried to deepen to no avail, and walked out straightening her top.

"Addie!" Holli exclaimed as she bounced up.

"Hey, Holls. What's up?"

"Where's Alex? We have something for you guys."

"We?"

"We," Holli gestured behind her, and Addison noticed that Derek, Meredith, Izzie, Christina, Burke, Callie, George, Miranda, Mark, and Richard were standing there.

Alex walked up behind her. "What's up?"

"They have something for us," Addison informed him.

Holli handed her an envelope. "We all chipped in," Meredith said.

"What is this?" Addison asked.

"Plane tickets to Greece, plus reservations for a hotel, but those aren't actually in the envelope, obviously," Holli answered. "You didn't get a honeymoon."

"You have next week off," Richard informed them. "Think of it as an anniversary present."

"Thank you!" Addison exclaimed, close to tears. She hugged Holli and Richard and Callie and then Meredith and Derek and even Mark.

She approached Miranda, who held up her hands, "Uh-uh. Don't even think about it. Do I look like a teddy bear to you? No. But I do hope you have a good time."

"Don't make me regret this, Addi," Richard warned her.

"I won't."

She looked around at the people who were so involved in her life. Her family. Alex, her husband. Richard, her father, Miranda, probably her mother, which was kind of frightening, but true. Callie was her twin sister, they were that close. George, the brother in law that annoyed her, but she accepted. Preston, her eldest brother, and Christina, her sister in law whom she was required to like. Izzie was her youngest sister, the one who needed to be taken care of, the one who she didn't care for all the time, but liked all the same. Mark, the slightly lecherous but loveable brother, and Derek, his twin, although that would make their marriage, as well as her and Mark's affair, incest, a disgusting thought, but all that aside it was true. And Meredith was… what _was_ Meredith? Not a sister, but in the family more than just because of Derek. The cousin? Stepsister? Stepsister, Addison decided, not related by blood, but loved all the same. And Holli, her kindred soul, her daughter. These people were her family. Her big, messed up family. Looking around at them, she decided that she couldn't be happier with them.

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**and there you have it, the real end. how sad!**

**because this is the absolute last chapter of this and because i'm a nice person and i wrote you an epilogue and you love me for it, you know you want to write a review!**

**-Lauren**


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